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bath journal
Here I log in movies I've watched while
soaking in my bathtub, including bathing products and a movie review!
Secret Arts Bath Bomb (Lush)
The Craft (1996)
I bought the bath bomb on a whim because its design spoke to me, and I expected The Craft to be some kind of more mature Sabrina the Teenage Witch, but it was a lot more compelling than that! Loved all the girlbossing going on.
The Craft (1996)
Review
First themed bath! (that I remember)I bought the bath bomb on a whim because its design spoke to me, and I expected The Craft to be some kind of more mature Sabrina the Teenage Witch, but it was a lot more compelling than that! Loved all the girlbossing going on.
Kleiner Gruß von Herzen (Peony and Camelia) Bath Salts (Kneipp)
Polite Society (2023)
Polite Society (2023)
Review
I picked the bath salts because it reminded me of the game Rose & Camellia, so I looked for a movie that could work under the same theme (woman vs woman duels, family drama, costumes), and it absolutely delivered, 10/10, had a great time.
Glückliche Auszeit (Red poppy and Hemp) Bath Foam (Kneipp)
Pretty Cure All Stars F (2023)
* When I poured the blood-like liquid in the tub I immediately thought of pairing this bath foam with Les Diaboliques (1955), let’s see if I feel like rewatching this banger some other time…
Pretty Cure All Stars F (2023)
Review
I didn’t expect the bath to look like I murdered someone in it* and I didn’t realize the leaf on the packaging was literal weed, but I also didn’t expect this Precure 20th anniversary fan service movie to go so freaking hard both in its themes and animation, so I guess in the end it all came together beautifully.* When I poured the blood-like liquid in the tub I immediately thought of pairing this bath foam with Les Diaboliques (1955), let’s see if I feel like rewatching this banger some other time…
Rücken Wohl (Devil’s Claw) Bath Crystals (Kneipp)
Onibaba (1964)
Lo and behold a few days later I learned that a movie called The Devil’s Bath is about to premiere… well at least I already know under which conditions I’ll watch it :^)
Onibaba (1964)
Review
With a name like “devil’s claw” I wanted a movie with a devil in it but couldn’t quite find something I wanted to watch, so I picked Onibaba, which I had already seen, but it is a great movie and I needed to rewatch it for… research purposes.Lo and behold a few days later I learned that a movie called The Devil’s Bath is about to premiere… well at least I already know under which conditions I’ll watch it :^)
Rosenzarte Verwöhnpflege (Rose petals) Bath Cream (Kneipp)
What a Way to Go! (1964)
What a Way to Go! (1964)
Review
I watched this movie because a Letterboxd review said “Can you believe this film invented the color pink?” and my god it is true. I came in with no expectations but it was genuinely hilarious and I would summarize it as Citizen Kane, but woman (and sort of anti-capitalist).
Rosenzarte Verwöhnpflege (Rose petals) Bath Cream (Kneipp)
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988)
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988)
Review
Very cool opening credits, loved all the characters and their outfits except the main “antagonist”, my only regret is that he still gets away with it. Had a very good time overall!
Rosenzarte Verwöhnpflege (Rose petals) Bath Cream (Kneipp)
Vamps (2012)
I feel like there’s an interesting coming-of-age feminist “what is girlhood, what is womanhood”, “my body my choice” metaphor going on + fun political undertones but the wiki page simply doesn’t have enough info for me to nib on… Also the outfits in this are incredible!! (the CGI not so much tho lol)
Vamps (2012)
Review
Fun movie, I didn't know anything about the cast so each new appearance was a pleasant surprise. Very funny to see Dan Stevens tell his gf she looks too pale when he’s the whitest palest looking mfer in Downton Abbey.I feel like there’s an interesting coming-of-age feminist “what is girlhood, what is womanhood”, “my body my choice” metaphor going on + fun political undertones but the wiki page simply doesn’t have enough info for me to nib on… Also the outfits in this are incredible!! (the CGI not so much tho lol)
Rosenzarte Verwöhnpflege (Rose petals) Bath Cream (Kneipp)
Flashdance (1983)
I listen to Carpenter Brut's Maniac regularly so it was about time I watched Flashdance.
Male gaze masterclass, but Jennifer Beals is sooooo pretty in every shot, the flashdancers are incredibly talented (Tina Tech omg!! but why didn't they let Heels dance...) but I spent half of the movie pissed at Nick lmao if you want to help your gf ask her first bitch!!!
Flashdance (1983)
Review
(yeah I need to finish my bottle before I can experiment with new bathing products... I'm saving money but I'm getting kinda bored with it)I listen to Carpenter Brut's Maniac regularly so it was about time I watched Flashdance.
Male gaze masterclass, but Jennifer Beals is sooooo pretty in every shot, the flashdancers are incredibly talented (Tina Tech omg!! but why didn't they let Heels dance...) but I spent half of the movie pissed at Nick lmao if you want to help your gf ask her first bitch!!!
I whale always be there for you (Peach, nectarine, magnolia petals) Bath Salts (Balea)
Aquamarine (2006)
What a perfect girl movie... Pure girl friendship triumphing over a speed date, magical starfish earrings, mood-changing nail polish, incredible hues of blue and pink everywhere, a coming-of-age undertone...
I wish I had seen this when it came out and that I'd had friends to see it with but for now I'll just paint my nails blue ~
Bonus point for the random black forest cake cameo ofc
Aquamarine (2006)
Review
I don't think I ever really was into mermaids that much, but I knew this was going to be a bath movie and I needed the right product for it... Unfortunately the bath salts weren't that incredible despite the awful whale pun and the marine themed packaging lmao but the movie sure overcompensated for that!What a perfect girl movie... Pure girl friendship triumphing over a speed date, magical starfish earrings, mood-changing nail polish, incredible hues of blue and pink everywhere, a coming-of-age undertone...
I wish I had seen this when it came out and that I'd had friends to see it with but for now I'll just paint my nails blue ~
Bonus point for the random black forest cake cameo ofc
Rosenzarte Verwöhnpflege (Rose petals) Bath Cream (Kneipp)
8 femmes (2002)
It's a shame that each character is shown to be equally flawed but only the one man around whom the whole plot resolves gets to be somewhat redeemed... But the cinematography was incredible, and mid-way I started wishing for a remake with a contemporary twist (but maybe I shouldn't, monkey's paw etc).
8 femmes (2002)
Review
I was in a phase of catching up on French classics I missed and so far this is the only one that held up to the passage of time lol. I'd watched Clue a few weeks earlier, so it was nice to slide back into a murder mystery, except this one has musicals and pretty women who are all after each other and uh, not just out of disdain or jealousy :^)It's a shame that each character is shown to be equally flawed but only the one man around whom the whole plot resolves gets to be somewhat redeemed... But the cinematography was incredible, and mid-way I started wishing for a remake with a contemporary twist (but maybe I shouldn't, monkey's paw etc).
Rosenzarte Verwöhnpflege (Rose petals) Bath Cream (Kneipp)
Funeral Parade of Roses (1969)
I'm usually not a fan of deconstructed or nonchronological narratives, especially in movies with heavy symbolism or surrealism going on because they're already hard enough to follow, but in this movie it worked perfectly. The abstract, symbolic shots squeezed between scenes, the mastery of black and white contrasts, it's all telling a beautiful story but you already know that it will not end well, and yet you still wonder about the "how". That is, until you reach the end, and realize that not only you've been watching a Greek tragedy the whole time, but the movie has been hinting at it all throughout its duration in scenes that didn't seem to have any relation to one another.
And then, just as the drama reaches its climax, it cuts to Nagaharu Yodogawa (I had to google it) saying "Well that sure was scary, huh?" and I had to burst in laughter at how tongue-in-cheek the whole movie is, despite its fundamental tragedy.
(I won't comment on the whole gender discourse because 1/ it's not my place and 2/ I still think that Japan has a very different perception of gender than the West, which imo makes it difficult to understand or criticize in good faith if you're not deeply familiar with it.)
Funeral Parade of Roses (1969)
Review
The perfect movie to end this bottle on.I'm usually not a fan of deconstructed or nonchronological narratives, especially in movies with heavy symbolism or surrealism going on because they're already hard enough to follow, but in this movie it worked perfectly. The abstract, symbolic shots squeezed between scenes, the mastery of black and white contrasts, it's all telling a beautiful story but you already know that it will not end well, and yet you still wonder about the "how". That is, until you reach the end, and realize that not only you've been watching a Greek tragedy the whole time, but the movie has been hinting at it all throughout its duration in scenes that didn't seem to have any relation to one another.
And then, just as the drama reaches its climax, it cuts to Nagaharu Yodogawa (I had to google it) saying "Well that sure was scary, huh?" and I had to burst in laughter at how tongue-in-cheek the whole movie is, despite its fundamental tragedy.
(I won't comment on the whole gender discourse because 1/ it's not my place and 2/ I still think that Japan has a very different perception of gender than the West, which imo makes it difficult to understand or criticize in good faith if you're not deeply familiar with it.)
Deine Zeit für Dich (Hibiscus petals and white tea) Bath Salts (Tetesept)
13 Going on 30 (2004)
It's certainly very tame, but not to the point that it's boring. Above all I liked the budding friendship between 30 yo Jenna and her 13 yo neighbour, and the slumber party looked really fun (I really like how it breaks down the psychological barrier between child and adult, when really slumber parties are about play, gossip, and sharing advice, so why not shake things up and mix age groups once in a while...). On the other hand I also wondered about the ethics behind a guy falling in love with a 13 yo child trapped in a 30 yo body, but towards the end Jenna's "internal age" was ambiguous enough in the way she behaved and spoke that I stopped questioning it (it's not supposed to be sci-fi and taken too literally, I imagine).
"I wanna be thirty, flirty and thriving" Girl, same. Same...
13 Going on 30 (2004)
Review
I managed to get a bunch of different bath salts for free so now I'm trying to find movies to go with them... When Matty brought out the "magic wishing dust" I knew I had picked the perfect flick for this one.It's certainly very tame, but not to the point that it's boring. Above all I liked the budding friendship between 30 yo Jenna and her 13 yo neighbour, and the slumber party looked really fun (I really like how it breaks down the psychological barrier between child and adult, when really slumber parties are about play, gossip, and sharing advice, so why not shake things up and mix age groups once in a while...). On the other hand I also wondered about the ethics behind a guy falling in love with a 13 yo child trapped in a 30 yo body, but towards the end Jenna's "internal age" was ambiguous enough in the way she behaved and spoke that I stopped questioning it (it's not supposed to be sci-fi and taken too literally, I imagine).
"I wanna be thirty, flirty and thriving" Girl, same. Same...
Muskel Entspannung (Arnica, rosemary and pine oil) Bath Crystals (Kneipp)
Crystal Visions (2016)
As expected, it was a whole lot of nothing lmao. A bunch of white men talking about science and history when none of them are scientists or historians (except for one geologist), a lot of phallic symbolism no one wants to acknowledge, no credible sources whatsoever, you get the idea. It was so boring relaxing that I almost fell asleep when they spent a little too long using science to prove that crystals affect the magnetic properties of a room.
The only part that really caught my interest was the intro, particularly "We need to become crystalline from within", or crystals being "ambassadors of eternity" (which is very in line with my FFXIV lore hehe), but ultimately it's more about these German guys saying whatever and not so much about crystals, what properties each stone has, or how they were perceived in different cultures (something I would be super interested to learn more about rip).
Crystal Visions (2016)
Review
I spent ages trying to find a movie to go with this product, and in the end I decided that muscle relaxing bath crystals would go great with an esoteric pseudo-scientific bullshit movie about crystals (I was also deep in contemplation over the state of FFXIV and my WoL and whether I wanted to stop playing or not, so it seemed fitting).As expected, it was a whole lot of nothing lmao. A bunch of white men talking about science and history when none of them are scientists or historians (except for one geologist), a lot of phallic symbolism no one wants to acknowledge, no credible sources whatsoever, you get the idea. It was so boring relaxing that I almost fell asleep when they spent a little too long using science to prove that crystals affect the magnetic properties of a room.
The only part that really caught my interest was the intro, particularly "We need to become crystalline from within", or crystals being "ambassadors of eternity" (which is very in line with my FFXIV lore hehe), but ultimately it's more about these German guys saying whatever and not so much about crystals, what properties each stone has, or how they were perceived in different cultures (something I would be super interested to learn more about rip).
Hokus Pokus (Peach scented) Color-changing bath (Tetesept)
Death becomes her (1992)
The bath product was super disappointing lmao, it was like dropping little green tablets of watercolor paint into my bath and waiting for them to slowly dissolve... didn't notice any color changes either. Some of the "therapeutic"/aromatic bath salts I've tried before were way more colorful than this.
The movie on the other hand!! There are so few movies that tackle the topic of immortality, and this one truly delivered. It's camp as hell, Meryl Streep is fantastic as usual, the practical effects are great, and girls win the day... but at what cost.....
Death becomes her (1992)
Review
I wanted to finish my stock of freebies with this one and potentially pair it with Hocus Pocus (a movie I never managed to finish because I wasn't in the mood for it), but in the end I changed my mind.The bath product was super disappointing lmao, it was like dropping little green tablets of watercolor paint into my bath and waiting for them to slowly dissolve... didn't notice any color changes either. Some of the "therapeutic"/aromatic bath salts I've tried before were way more colorful than this.
The movie on the other hand!! There are so few movies that tackle the topic of immortality, and this one truly delivered. It's camp as hell, Meryl Streep is fantastic as usual, the practical effects are great, and girls win the day... but at what cost.....
Erkältungszeit (Eucalyptus, thyme, rosemary and camphor oil) Sea Salts (Tetesept)
The Chinese Botanist's Daughters (2006)
I watched this movie a very long time ago when I was starting high school, a strange time where people around me were starting to be a little bit more open about their sexuality, but not quite yet. A classmate who was very honest about being gay lent me the DVD, and I watched it at home on my brand new laptop. I remember enjoying it at the time (even if I didn't remember much of it), but I'd been wanting to rewatch it because now I'm a lot more Aware* of the issues this movie raises and I wanted to see how it held up to the passage of time.
Unfortunately it's very hard to stay focused on the movie when the first track, which is featured continously throughout all the sentimental scenes, is part of the famous French new age musical project Era (the 15th track on The Very Best of Era to be exact, a CD I'm very familiar with lol).
That being said, the set was great (that pyramid-shaped green house!), the yellow hues really added to the atmosphere and historical period the movie was conveying, but on the other hand I'm still not sure how I feel about it... The first time I watched it I was wrongly under the impression that it was a French movie, and even now that I'm aware that the director is Chinese and that I've watched it in Mandarin, the presence of Mylène Jampanoï (who I loved in Martyrs, but who still had to be dubbed over by someone else), the very postcard-like scenery shots, and even some dialogues felt like the movie was "Chinese, but made for a Western audience" (which was probably the case, and I imagine the French funding also enforced some requirements). Sometimes it made me feel like a tourist, a bit like the Shenmue games do (in contrast to the very little Chinese media I've consumed, which doesn't take the time to show and explain things to the uninitiated, since this is their everyday culture).
The story itself is... well, you know how well it's going to end already, so it's all about learning how it will happen. It's interesting that a few scenes mention toxic plants, some lethal, and yet murder is something neither of the girls ever consider... I was wondering for a good chunk of the movie why this was never on the table, but I'm now reading a Letterboxd review saying "They never do anything wrong." and maybe those scenes were there to highlight that, you the spectator want them to survive and succeed by any means, but they are too pure, too kind and too innocent to even consider it, and that brings them to their downfall. Still... A lot of the romantic scenes felt somewhat voyeuristic, and I wonder how the movie would be shot nowadays (by a lesbian director).
* To make it clear, I was SO unaware of things at that time, I never realized another classmate had been hitting on me every week during philosophy class because she never explicitly said she was gay (so clearly her hand on my leg was just a sign of friendship, right?), and it's years later that I had a ".....oh." moment realizing there was an opportunity there I never saw (and subsequently realizing that my "fuck! how did I miss that!! there could have been a thing between us!!!" reaction confirmed I was very probably bi lol). And even today I have no clue if that classmate who lent me the DVD was testing the waters or not... I was just "cool, free exotic non-mainstream movie, thanks".
The Chinese Botanist's Daughters (2006)
Review
Had to look up what "Kampferbaum" was and learned camphor comes from East Asia, so might as well go for a movie with a lot of plants taking place in China/Vietnam.I watched this movie a very long time ago when I was starting high school, a strange time where people around me were starting to be a little bit more open about their sexuality, but not quite yet. A classmate who was very honest about being gay lent me the DVD, and I watched it at home on my brand new laptop. I remember enjoying it at the time (even if I didn't remember much of it), but I'd been wanting to rewatch it because now I'm a lot more Aware* of the issues this movie raises and I wanted to see how it held up to the passage of time.
Unfortunately it's very hard to stay focused on the movie when the first track, which is featured continously throughout all the sentimental scenes, is part of the famous French new age musical project Era (the 15th track on The Very Best of Era to be exact, a CD I'm very familiar with lol).
That being said, the set was great (that pyramid-shaped green house!), the yellow hues really added to the atmosphere and historical period the movie was conveying, but on the other hand I'm still not sure how I feel about it... The first time I watched it I was wrongly under the impression that it was a French movie, and even now that I'm aware that the director is Chinese and that I've watched it in Mandarin, the presence of Mylène Jampanoï (who I loved in Martyrs, but who still had to be dubbed over by someone else), the very postcard-like scenery shots, and even some dialogues felt like the movie was "Chinese, but made for a Western audience" (which was probably the case, and I imagine the French funding also enforced some requirements). Sometimes it made me feel like a tourist, a bit like the Shenmue games do (in contrast to the very little Chinese media I've consumed, which doesn't take the time to show and explain things to the uninitiated, since this is their everyday culture).
The story itself is... well, you know how well it's going to end already, so it's all about learning how it will happen. It's interesting that a few scenes mention toxic plants, some lethal, and yet murder is something neither of the girls ever consider... I was wondering for a good chunk of the movie why this was never on the table, but I'm now reading a Letterboxd review saying "They never do anything wrong." and maybe those scenes were there to highlight that, you the spectator want them to survive and succeed by any means, but they are too pure, too kind and too innocent to even consider it, and that brings them to their downfall. Still... A lot of the romantic scenes felt somewhat voyeuristic, and I wonder how the movie would be shot nowadays (by a lesbian director).
* To make it clear, I was SO unaware of things at that time, I never realized another classmate had been hitting on me every week during philosophy class because she never explicitly said she was gay (so clearly her hand on my leg was just a sign of friendship, right?), and it's years later that I had a ".....oh." moment realizing there was an opportunity there I never saw (and subsequently realizing that my "fuck! how did I miss that!! there could have been a thing between us!!!" reaction confirmed I was very probably bi lol). And even today I have no clue if that classmate who lent me the DVD was testing the waters or not... I was just "cool, free exotic non-mainstream movie, thanks".
Bronchial (Thyme, sage, pine, rosemary, myrtle, eucalyptus, a bunch of mints, coneflower) Sea Salts (Altapharma)
The Secret Garden (1993)
And the movie starts very strong wiiiiith... racism. It's a bit difficult to like this girl who sees everyone around her as her servant (especially if their skin happens to be darker), even more so when she throws the most violent tantrum after a maid says she was expecting her to be Indian (the audacity! the horror!). Considering when the original story was written, I guess it can't be helped, but for a 90s movie adaptation I expected some slight rework. I wonder how the 2020 remake tackles this, but I'm not interested enough to bother watching it.
That being said, nothing beats an old English manor with secret passages, mystery residents, and labyrinthine gardens, which obviously is the real appeal of the movie. That and Maggie Smith delivering one of her best performances, as a believable antagonist who still shows a very human side towards the end (she did her best with what she knew, and it must be so much pressure to work with the lord's son...).
The Secret Garden (1993)
Review
I had seen this movie a while ago and remembered enjoying it, but then not too long ago I watched A Little Princess, which I expected to like but made me raise my eyebrows really high instead with the blatant orientalism slapped on a black girl for no good reason (and its pretense of examining social classes but really reinforcing the status quo...), so it was time for a rewatch (and I needed something with a lot of random plants anyway).And the movie starts very strong wiiiiith... racism. It's a bit difficult to like this girl who sees everyone around her as her servant (especially if their skin happens to be darker), even more so when she throws the most violent tantrum after a maid says she was expecting her to be Indian (the audacity! the horror!). Considering when the original story was written, I guess it can't be helped, but for a 90s movie adaptation I expected some slight rework. I wonder how the 2020 remake tackles this, but I'm not interested enough to bother watching it.
That being said, nothing beats an old English manor with secret passages, mystery residents, and labyrinthine gardens, which obviously is the real appeal of the movie. That and Maggie Smith delivering one of her best performances, as a believable antagonist who still shows a very human side towards the end (she did her best with what she knew, and it must be so much pressure to work with the lord's son...).
Inkee Galupy Unicorn (Shea butter and cotton candy flavored) Bath Sprinkles (CRAZE)
Pepperminta (2009)
Even though the artist/director is Swiss and the movie mainly filmed in Austria, I must admit that it is very representative of a kind of aesthetic? genre? that existed in Germany around that time (but started much earlier) and to which I was exposed a lot as a kid. Seemingly parentless children who are guided by the disembodied voice of an elder on their epic quest against evil (Tabaluga), rebellious girls who question laws and conventions through the power of play and wonder (Momo), an oddball protagonist who lives on the fringes of society and seems to live in their own world in the middle of everyone else's (Peter Lustig)... I wasn't surprised at all when I read the wikipedia page later and learned that Pippi Longstocking (which was HUGE in Germany) was one of the inspirations for Pepperminta.
The movie is absolutely weird, but it manages to put you in a happy mood all throughout, and the more time passed the more I saw Pepperminta as some sort of anarchist magical girl (she even has a transformation sequence and secret gadgets!) who fights against boredom and existential dread, encouraging people to push past their boundaries to rediscover optimism and what is possible beyond the social and cultural barriers we put on ourselves.
...Definitely an early 2000s movie.
The only downside is that, because it's an early 2000s movie that wants to be unabashedly feminist, it's obsessed with menstruation, and there is one character who's coded as gender non-conforming who seems to be sort of coerced into accepting their biological body as their gender...? I can't tell if I'm reading too much into the TERF-y vibes or not, there were subtler symbols going on at the same time that sort of hinted that gender was maybe another game for the group to play with and I'm desperately holding onto that to give the movie the benefit of the doubt lol
Pepperminta (2009)
Review
I was looking for my next bathing products with a few movies already in mind and I knew this was going to be a match made in heaven. Watched on a Russian website with hardcoded Polish subtitles in 360p for an even wilder experience.Even though the artist/director is Swiss and the movie mainly filmed in Austria, I must admit that it is very representative of a kind of aesthetic? genre? that existed in Germany around that time (but started much earlier) and to which I was exposed a lot as a kid. Seemingly parentless children who are guided by the disembodied voice of an elder on their epic quest against evil (Tabaluga), rebellious girls who question laws and conventions through the power of play and wonder (Momo), an oddball protagonist who lives on the fringes of society and seems to live in their own world in the middle of everyone else's (Peter Lustig)... I wasn't surprised at all when I read the wikipedia page later and learned that Pippi Longstocking (which was HUGE in Germany) was one of the inspirations for Pepperminta.
The movie is absolutely weird, but it manages to put you in a happy mood all throughout, and the more time passed the more I saw Pepperminta as some sort of anarchist magical girl (she even has a transformation sequence and secret gadgets!) who fights against boredom and existential dread, encouraging people to push past their boundaries to rediscover optimism and what is possible beyond the social and cultural barriers we put on ourselves.
...Definitely an early 2000s movie.
The only downside is that, because it's an early 2000s movie that wants to be unabashedly feminist, it's obsessed with menstruation, and there is one character who's coded as gender non-conforming who seems to be sort of coerced into accepting their biological body as their gender...? I can't tell if I'm reading too much into the TERF-y vibes or not, there were subtler symbols going on at the same time that sort of hinted that gender was maybe another game for the group to play with and I'm desperately holding onto that to give the movie the benefit of the doubt lol
Kirschblütentraum (Cherry blossoms) Bath crystals (Kneipp)
Sakuran (2007)
I had already seen Helter Skelter by the same director, and read Moyoco Anno's manga, so I knew I was in for gorgeous colors and costumes and a rebellious girlboss protagonist, but still!
I really liked the combination of anachronistic cabaret music with historical costumes (although the sets and clothes might have been anachronistic too?), the predominance of red and the goldfish analogy, and Anna Tsuchiya really fit the character well with her comical angry faces. Otoh I'm not sure what I thought of the ending... I remember the manga being a lot bleaker and when they first brought up the cherry tree I was "and later they'll reveal that tree never was a cherry tree in the first place and that's why it can't bloom and why she's trapped here forever", so when it suddenly bloomed I was HUH??? I remember the relationship between Kiyoha and the worker being more ambiguous and yet still strange (wdym you fell in love with the literal child you met X years ago... how old is this guy anyway), but maybe I'd need to re-read the manga to form a proper opinion, it's been a while.
Sakuran (2007)
Review
A movie I've been meaning to watch for a while, and pretty easy to pair up too (getting my hands on the product itself was another story...).I had already seen Helter Skelter by the same director, and read Moyoco Anno's manga, so I knew I was in for gorgeous colors and costumes and a rebellious girlboss protagonist, but still!
I really liked the combination of anachronistic cabaret music with historical costumes (although the sets and clothes might have been anachronistic too?), the predominance of red and the goldfish analogy, and Anna Tsuchiya really fit the character well with her comical angry faces. Otoh I'm not sure what I thought of the ending... I remember the manga being a lot bleaker and when they first brought up the cherry tree I was "and later they'll reveal that tree never was a cherry tree in the first place and that's why it can't bloom and why she's trapped here forever", so when it suddenly bloomed I was HUH??? I remember the relationship between Kiyoha and the worker being more ambiguous and yet still strange (wdym you fell in love with the literal child you met X years ago... how old is this guy anyway), but maybe I'd need to re-read the manga to form a proper opinion, it's been a while.
Gelato Amore (Cherry and Vanilla) Bath Foam (Treaclemoon)
Flash Gordon (1980)
It was between this and Barbarella and, well. The color scheme of the costumes matched the bath foam too well lol
Very fun movie, made me wish midway through for a live action Legend of the Galatic Heroes remake with the same special effects as they had in the 80s. Loved the colors, they really went all out with the costumes... (except for the lizardmen, wth were those latex sock puppets). I thought I had seen Vultan's actor somewhere else before and I thought "wait a minute, is that Pavarotti..." but turns out I only know Brian Blessed's face from Blackadder lmao
Note to self: next time put the bath foam while drawing the bath if you want foam. Still a good bath but I hadn't realized it was supposed to foam oops
Flash Gordon (1980)
Review
FLASH... AAAAAAAIt was between this and Barbarella and, well. The color scheme of the costumes matched the bath foam too well lol
Very fun movie, made me wish midway through for a live action Legend of the Galatic Heroes remake with the same special effects as they had in the 80s. Loved the colors, they really went all out with the costumes... (except for the lizardmen, wth were those latex sock puppets). I thought I had seen Vultan's actor somewhere else before and I thought "wait a minute, is that Pavarotti..." but turns out I only know Brian Blessed's face from Blackadder lmao
Note to self: next time put the bath foam while drawing the bath if you want foam. Still a good bath but I hadn't realized it was supposed to foam oops
Lichtkristall Glitter Bath Salts (Tetesept Kids)
The Last Unicorn (1982)
I was perusing the website of my usual drug store to find new bath salts to try, and when I saw these named CRYSTAL OF LIGHT and in the right shade of blue I knew I needed them ASAP for the ultimate tortecore experience. They were almost entirely sold out, and when I finally found them after 3 or 4 stores, I ended up buying whatever was left lol
... The problem now was finding a tortecore movie. Once you've watched The Dark Crystal it's surprisingly hard to find other movies themed around crystals (as I've written here before), once you've read Houseki no Kuni it's incredibly difficult to find media that revolves around the same issues (fatalism, (im)mortality, ambiguous morality, etc), and I'm still not sure I've really found what I was looking for. But I had been wanting to watch The Last Unicorn for a while, which supposedly dealt with mortality, and unicorns aren't very far off from crystals, right...?
Well, it's a movie with very pretty environments (reminded me of Disney's Sleeping Beauty, one of my faves), a very pretty unicorn, and interesting themes like innocence, and illusion vs truth. The plot itself is a little bit all over the place towards the end (the Red Bull specifically doesn't kill unicorns but forcefully guides them to where he wants them to be, the magician saves the unicorn from the Red Bull by turning her into a human because he's not interested in "less noble creatures", but when they confront the Red Bull once more he turns her back into a unicorn to save her? huh???) and some scenes and their voice acting were a little... underperforming lol (not to mention the soundtrack...)
That being said, the line "I can feel this body dying all around me!" went hard as hell, and that alone qualifies this movie as tortecore for me, teehee. I'm actually quite interested in reading the book now, since the themes are probably explored much more explicitly than through an animated film...
The Last Unicorn (1982)
Review
(I'm not exactly sure what was in that bath except sea salts, perfume and blue dye...)I was perusing the website of my usual drug store to find new bath salts to try, and when I saw these named CRYSTAL OF LIGHT and in the right shade of blue I knew I needed them ASAP for the ultimate tortecore experience. They were almost entirely sold out, and when I finally found them after 3 or 4 stores, I ended up buying whatever was left lol
... The problem now was finding a tortecore movie. Once you've watched The Dark Crystal it's surprisingly hard to find other movies themed around crystals (as I've written here before), once you've read Houseki no Kuni it's incredibly difficult to find media that revolves around the same issues (fatalism, (im)mortality, ambiguous morality, etc), and I'm still not sure I've really found what I was looking for. But I had been wanting to watch The Last Unicorn for a while, which supposedly dealt with mortality, and unicorns aren't very far off from crystals, right...?
Well, it's a movie with very pretty environments (reminded me of Disney's Sleeping Beauty, one of my faves), a very pretty unicorn, and interesting themes like innocence, and illusion vs truth. The plot itself is a little bit all over the place towards the end (the Red Bull specifically doesn't kill unicorns but forcefully guides them to where he wants them to be, the magician saves the unicorn from the Red Bull by turning her into a human because he's not interested in "less noble creatures", but when they confront the Red Bull once more he turns her back into a unicorn to save her? huh???) and some scenes and their voice acting were a little... underperforming lol (not to mention the soundtrack...)
That being said, the line "I can feel this body dying all around me!" went hard as hell, and that alone qualifies this movie as tortecore for me, teehee. I'm actually quite interested in reading the book now, since the themes are probably explored much more explicitly than through an animated film...
Hab Dich Lieb (Raspberry and lingonberry) Bath Salts (Kneipp)
The Red Shoes (1948)
The first half dragged on a little, but it ended up being much more than just a story about a woman tragically torn between her romance and her career. I had to do a double take a few times, like... this really came out 77 years ago??? The dream-like ballet sequence in the middle of the film has better practical effects than movies that came out 30-40 years after wth
Some of the transitions, cuts and angles also felt a lot more modern than I expected, those whip pans!! And the foreshadowing of the conclusion of the movie slowly creeping in through an opera soundtrack and an ominous open window in the background...
By the end of the movie I was so into it I only realized I forgot to wash my hair when credits rolled lmao
The Red Shoes (1948)
Review
I knew close to nothing about this movie, but the combination seemed fitting.The first half dragged on a little, but it ended up being much more than just a story about a woman tragically torn between her romance and her career. I had to do a double take a few times, like... this really came out 77 years ago??? The dream-like ballet sequence in the middle of the film has better practical effects than movies that came out 30-40 years after wth
Some of the transitions, cuts and angles also felt a lot more modern than I expected, those whip pans!! And the foreshadowing of the conclusion of the movie slowly creeping in through an opera soundtrack and an ominous open window in the background...
By the end of the movie I was so into it I only realized I forgot to wash my hair when credits rolled lmao
Byzantium (Black rose and Labdanum) Bath Cream (Tesori d'Oriente)
Der Rosenkönig (1986)
And what a movie!!! It feels very weird to write it here because this website is not AT ALL in that vibe lmao but the cinematography and aesthetics and references were sooooo aligned with everything I like omg... Literally the only thing that was missing was a sword. But when you start whispering "dark souls" in your bathtub and chanting for a pieta scene (which didn't happen, but I think it was very much evoked nonetheless), you know you can't give this movie any less than 5 stars.
aaaa we need more movies throwing Caravaggio and de La Tour around, the lighting and framing were incredible... And Magdalena Montezuma was so hauntingly beautiful too, and now I'm learning she was quite literally dying while filming (which explains why she was everywhere in the credits), and that this movie was basically a requiem for her... gah!!!
Der Rosenkönig (1986)
Review
[me misreading "labdanum" as "laudanum"] ...oh this HAS to be paired with a movie.And what a movie!!! It feels very weird to write it here because this website is not AT ALL in that vibe lmao but the cinematography and aesthetics and references were sooooo aligned with everything I like omg... Literally the only thing that was missing was a sword. But when you start whispering "dark souls" in your bathtub and chanting for a pieta scene (which didn't happen, but I think it was very much evoked nonetheless), you know you can't give this movie any less than 5 stars.
aaaa we need more movies throwing Caravaggio and de La Tour around, the lighting and framing were incredible... And Magdalena Montezuma was so hauntingly beautiful too, and now I'm learning she was quite literally dying while filming (which explains why she was everywhere in the credits), and that this movie was basically a requiem for her... gah!!!
Lichtkristall Glitter Bath Salts (Tetesept Kids)
Three Colours: Blue (1993)
I'm all about grief and depression and despair and I did resonate with the beginning of the movie, but my suspension of disbelief was shattered when Julie called over this rando so he could come and bang her... and then he did (imo a stronger proof of love would have been to NOT do that???). And then he stalked her for months because he couldn't get over this one night stand (uuuuh???). And then she learns he bought the fucken mattress they banged on and sleeps on it every night (UUUUUH????). And then she ends up with him despite having shown no interest (even before the accident, it seems) besides using him for one night out of grief and a need for self-destruction(?????).
Meanwhile, the mistress, who was made aware just 5 min ago of the presence of her lover's widow: "Do you hate me?". Girl why do you care!! You were going to live your life in complete obliviousness from her own struggle, why is this so important to you now? And why is her pregnancy a sudden revelation for Julie to get over her grief? Also it feels kinda predatory to become the landlord of your husband's mistress for the sake of His Son (even if it's not yours)?
Man, heterosexuality (written by men) is a disease!!!
On a more positive note, the blackouts with orchestral music were very nice. I did really enjoy a few of Julie's lines about not doing anything, inaction as a defense mechanism to avoid being hurt again, love and friendships being traps, etc. I would really like a movie that explores this in more depth: doing nothing. Being numb.
I did catch all the blue items and overlays throughout the movie, but I also expected the movie to be even bluer than it was. It's an easy comparison to make because they're both movies romanticizing life in Paris, but if this had been in the hands of Jean-Pierre Jeunet and/or Hervé Schneid (of Amélie fame) the work on colors would have been so good... (and a refreshing change after their usual yellows lol).
Granted, I also found it very difficult to empathize with an upper class woman who can afford this kind of life and accommodation in this corner of the French capital. Different times, sure, but still. Call it immunity against glamorized French cinema :^)
Three Colours: Blue (1993)
Review
A very strong candidate for tortecore and I went in hoping to like it... but I didn't. Damn.I'm all about grief and depression and despair and I did resonate with the beginning of the movie, but my suspension of disbelief was shattered when Julie called over this rando so he could come and bang her... and then he did (imo a stronger proof of love would have been to NOT do that???). And then he stalked her for months because he couldn't get over this one night stand (uuuuh???). And then she learns he bought the fucken mattress they banged on and sleeps on it every night (UUUUUH????). And then she ends up with him despite having shown no interest (even before the accident, it seems) besides using him for one night out of grief and a need for self-destruction(?????).
Meanwhile, the mistress, who was made aware just 5 min ago of the presence of her lover's widow: "Do you hate me?". Girl why do you care!! You were going to live your life in complete obliviousness from her own struggle, why is this so important to you now? And why is her pregnancy a sudden revelation for Julie to get over her grief? Also it feels kinda predatory to become the landlord of your husband's mistress for the sake of His Son (even if it's not yours)?
Man, heterosexuality (written by men) is a disease!!!
On a more positive note, the blackouts with orchestral music were very nice. I did really enjoy a few of Julie's lines about not doing anything, inaction as a defense mechanism to avoid being hurt again, love and friendships being traps, etc. I would really like a movie that explores this in more depth: doing nothing. Being numb.
I did catch all the blue items and overlays throughout the movie, but I also expected the movie to be even bluer than it was. It's an easy comparison to make because they're both movies romanticizing life in Paris, but if this had been in the hands of Jean-Pierre Jeunet and/or Hervé Schneid (of Amélie fame) the work on colors would have been so good... (and a refreshing change after their usual yellows lol).
Granted, I also found it very difficult to empathize with an upper class woman who can afford this kind of life and accommodation in this corner of the French capital. Different times, sure, but still. Call it immunity against glamorized French cinema :^)
Eine Wanne Voll Glück (4 leaf clover and star fruit) Bath Salts (Kneipp)
Lady Bird (2017)
I don't talk about the bathing products I use very much in these reviews because it's usually "well that was nice, whatever", but this one!! I'm not sure what exactly made it so fruity (almost like melon??) but it was such a nice smell!! Definitely re-buying it later.
On the other hand I'm not really sure what I thought of the movie. It was nice, I guess? But as a socially awkward European eldest daughter with good grades but no self confidence from an upper middle class, emotionally unavailable family who grew up between 3 different countries, it was kinda hard to relate to someone who had a completely different coming of age experience... At this point I've watched a fair amount of American high school comedies and what's great about them is that they're all so structured around archetypes and stereotypes that they become their own universe separate from reality (haha Utena reference), and I can enjoy the story as it is because it's completely detached from things I know.
Lady Bird instead reminded me that my high school experience... kinda sucked. Sure I had friends (lost all contact with them immediately after graduating tho, later learned that apparently no one in my class liked me...? okkk), sure I had my first romantic and sexual experiences at that age (which were long-distance and ended much more messily and awkwardly and in a much less "romantic" way as in this movie), but otherwise... No parties (everyone lived too far away anyway), very little hanging out with people after class, no emotional goodbyes or prom-like ceremonies after I got my diploma... thank god for my first laptop and the internet!!!
(I felt my childhood much better represented in Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995), for better or worse... haha...)
Basically the only moments that sent me down memory lane were when Cry Me A River played, and the invasion of Iraq broadcast live on TV (which in hindsight was... surreal. I was like 8 so I wasn't really grasping what was going on yet, but I remember thinking "this is important... but this is also war, how come there are people there just filming it?"). I liked the way it was referenced as a background non-event, which felt very much in line with how it probably went for most Americans, and which unfortunately feels very similar to current events...
There are a few times in the movie where I cackled, but I can't tell if it was intentional or not. Chalamet trying to argue against accusations about his dishonesty regarding his sexual performances by dropping random facts about the ongoing invasion was just funny.
I really liked the character of the mother, though. It's very easy to see how much her constant nagging pisses off her daughter, but also how much she struggles in her relationship with her and with keeping the entire family afloat, while at the same time dealing with a super stressful and demanding job. It would be great if I could project my own relationship with my parents into this one, but I simply can't :) Anyway.
Overall, having no nostalgia for my high school years (besides the one forum I logged on every night...), no roots to return to, no single place I grew up in, and also no American cultural background, it was not a movie that elicited the same reaction in me as it must have for most of its audience...
damn these reviews keep getting longer lmao
Lady Bird (2017)
Review
[me looking at the packaging] "how do you say Marienkäfer in English again... oh. Wasn't there a movie named like that?"I don't talk about the bathing products I use very much in these reviews because it's usually "well that was nice, whatever", but this one!! I'm not sure what exactly made it so fruity (almost like melon??) but it was such a nice smell!! Definitely re-buying it later.
On the other hand I'm not really sure what I thought of the movie. It was nice, I guess? But as a socially awkward European eldest daughter with good grades but no self confidence from an upper middle class, emotionally unavailable family who grew up between 3 different countries, it was kinda hard to relate to someone who had a completely different coming of age experience... At this point I've watched a fair amount of American high school comedies and what's great about them is that they're all so structured around archetypes and stereotypes that they become their own universe separate from reality (haha Utena reference), and I can enjoy the story as it is because it's completely detached from things I know.
Lady Bird instead reminded me that my high school experience... kinda sucked. Sure I had friends (lost all contact with them immediately after graduating tho, later learned that apparently no one in my class liked me...? okkk), sure I had my first romantic and sexual experiences at that age (which were long-distance and ended much more messily and awkwardly and in a much less "romantic" way as in this movie), but otherwise... No parties (everyone lived too far away anyway), very little hanging out with people after class, no emotional goodbyes or prom-like ceremonies after I got my diploma... thank god for my first laptop and the internet!!!
(I felt my childhood much better represented in Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995), for better or worse... haha...)
Basically the only moments that sent me down memory lane were when Cry Me A River played, and the invasion of Iraq broadcast live on TV (which in hindsight was... surreal. I was like 8 so I wasn't really grasping what was going on yet, but I remember thinking "this is important... but this is also war, how come there are people there just filming it?"). I liked the way it was referenced as a background non-event, which felt very much in line with how it probably went for most Americans, and which unfortunately feels very similar to current events...
There are a few times in the movie where I cackled, but I can't tell if it was intentional or not. Chalamet trying to argue against accusations about his dishonesty regarding his sexual performances by dropping random facts about the ongoing invasion was just funny.
I really liked the character of the mother, though. It's very easy to see how much her constant nagging pisses off her daughter, but also how much she struggles in her relationship with her and with keeping the entire family afloat, while at the same time dealing with a super stressful and demanding job. It would be great if I could project my own relationship with my parents into this one, but I simply can't :) Anyway.
Overall, having no nostalgia for my high school years (besides the one forum I logged on every night...), no roots to return to, no single place I grew up in, and also no American cultural background, it was not a movie that elicited the same reaction in me as it must have for most of its audience...
damn these reviews keep getting longer lmao
Lieblingsmensch (Hibiscus and Fig) Bath crystals (Kneipp)
Marie-Poupee (1976)
I had high hopes for this movie as soon as I saw the poster for it, and it almost, ALMOST didn't disappoint (the conclusion was unfortunately something I was expecting...).
It's wild that I had never heard of this movie until I found it on Letterboxd by pure chance, considering that it's French, it has incredible costumes and aesthetics, and it's a perfect candidate for any boomer to look at Lolita fashion and go "this is pedo bait". And yet! At the same time!! It treats similar questions as Nabokov's Lolita, but much more from the perspective of the innocent girl being seduced into the perfect adult life she's always been fantasizing about, only to realize she has become an object to whom free will and her own sexual desires have been denied, forever locked into a state of girlhood she can't grow out of or reclaim as her own.
In a sense it reverts the responsibility, the blame that is usually put on the Sinful Temptress Who Dares To Appear In Public In Such Tantalizing Garments, and points the finger at the men who only want a trophy wife, an object to fulfill their fantasies, or the pride of being The Man who will turn The Girl into The Woman. It's not Marie luring her husband with her clothes, but her husband luring her with them! It's not "pedo bait" but a "girl trap"!! This is even more emphasized in the tragic finale, where Marie turns to the stableman to finally get what she's been aching for (get laid), but again finds herself brutally trapped in the selfish desires of another man (like... there was no need to assault her you were going to have her anyway, you fucking clown...)
God, I so wanted this movie to go in another direction... Very early on there was mention of a misplaced knife (girls' favorite murder weapon, as we all know), I sat up in my bathtub like that one meme when Marie asked her husband if he could be the doll that night (the poor girl was denied femdom!! ack!!!), and that bath she shared with the local milf after she spent way too long admiring her thighs and lingerie........ (I really need to rewatch Les Diaboliques, I've mentioned it twice on this page now).
Like I said, the aesthetics are so good too... I'm not too fond of Marie's room (so white and old-fashioned it looks like a hospital, even if the theme was probably innocence and virginity), but the bathroom was really cute, and the dresses!! Even the first one we see Marie in was super charming. The black little ankle boots were such a look too, strikingly contrasting with every dress, yet matching Marie's dark hair and eyes... (I know what to hunt for next time I go thrift shopping). If I'm not mistaken, I think those boots were also a symbol of her husband's control over her, because towards the end she wore different shoes (or went even barefoot) when she met with the stableman (interesting that "palefrenier" is translated as "groom", btw). Either way Marie's closet would be the perfect bait for any girl to trap herself in an unhealthy/problematic/toxic/dangerous (whichever is applicable in that context) relationship.
Did Marie need to be 17, though? That's a question I started asking myself as soon as her age was revealed. As cinema has demonstrated over and over, 20-30 yo women are more than capable of playing young and innocent ingenues (Jeanne Goupil herself was 25 in the movie, after all). There is also this shoehorned anecdote about how a traumatizing and fatal car crash made her behave "younger" than she is (which was convenient to explain her slightly off way of speaking and her constant naivete, I'll give it that). But at the same time, I wonder if her husband would have approached her at all had she been older than 18 (a point that was reinforced with the very ominous scene towards the end...), especially after talking about how his wife would "never age". In a way, this would mean that the character of Marie was also shaped around the men she was made to interact with.......
How I long for an Xth wave feminist remake... I can just picture the story of a fetishized doll turning into a "real woman" Pinocchio style, by reclaiming her self-agency, her body and her sexuality on her own terms, with maybe a little bit of yandere energy (are there movies that portray femdom fantasies with ambiguous consent in an empowering yet problematic way... All I can think of is Antichrist, even if I haven't watched it, and it's definitely going too far for what I'm imagining lol), maybe a little bit of sapphic tension... All of this while wearing the frilliest dresses. The ultimate fuck you to the "pedo bait" claims whenever they're used against a fashion style.
With custom Lolita prints as not-so-subtle symbolism for every act... And with Ayesha Erotica and Tila Tsoli's respective doll-themed songs to play over the credits (can you tell I liked the ending of Saltburn way too much). Someone make it happen!!
Marie-Poupee (1976)
Review
Hmmm, well, the bath crystals were a little too pungent (?) for my nostrils, but the purple color was a nice surprise.I had high hopes for this movie as soon as I saw the poster for it, and it almost, ALMOST didn't disappoint (the conclusion was unfortunately something I was expecting...).
It's wild that I had never heard of this movie until I found it on Letterboxd by pure chance, considering that it's French, it has incredible costumes and aesthetics, and it's a perfect candidate for any boomer to look at Lolita fashion and go "this is pedo bait". And yet! At the same time!! It treats similar questions as Nabokov's Lolita, but much more from the perspective of the innocent girl being seduced into the perfect adult life she's always been fantasizing about, only to realize she has become an object to whom free will and her own sexual desires have been denied, forever locked into a state of girlhood she can't grow out of or reclaim as her own.
In a sense it reverts the responsibility, the blame that is usually put on the Sinful Temptress Who Dares To Appear In Public In Such Tantalizing Garments, and points the finger at the men who only want a trophy wife, an object to fulfill their fantasies, or the pride of being The Man who will turn The Girl into The Woman. It's not Marie luring her husband with her clothes, but her husband luring her with them! It's not "pedo bait" but a "girl trap"!! This is even more emphasized in the tragic finale, where Marie turns to the stableman to finally get what she's been aching for (get laid), but again finds herself brutally trapped in the selfish desires of another man (like... there was no need to assault her you were going to have her anyway, you fucking clown...)
God, I so wanted this movie to go in another direction... Very early on there was mention of a misplaced knife (girls' favorite murder weapon, as we all know), I sat up in my bathtub like that one meme when Marie asked her husband if he could be the doll that night (the poor girl was denied femdom!! ack!!!), and that bath she shared with the local milf after she spent way too long admiring her thighs and lingerie........ (I really need to rewatch Les Diaboliques, I've mentioned it twice on this page now).
Like I said, the aesthetics are so good too... I'm not too fond of Marie's room (so white and old-fashioned it looks like a hospital, even if the theme was probably innocence and virginity), but the bathroom was really cute, and the dresses!! Even the first one we see Marie in was super charming. The black little ankle boots were such a look too, strikingly contrasting with every dress, yet matching Marie's dark hair and eyes... (I know what to hunt for next time I go thrift shopping). If I'm not mistaken, I think those boots were also a symbol of her husband's control over her, because towards the end she wore different shoes (or went even barefoot) when she met with the stableman (interesting that "palefrenier" is translated as "groom", btw). Either way Marie's closet would be the perfect bait for any girl to trap herself in an unhealthy/problematic/toxic/dangerous (whichever is applicable in that context) relationship.
Did Marie need to be 17, though? That's a question I started asking myself as soon as her age was revealed. As cinema has demonstrated over and over, 20-30 yo women are more than capable of playing young and innocent ingenues (Jeanne Goupil herself was 25 in the movie, after all). There is also this shoehorned anecdote about how a traumatizing and fatal car crash made her behave "younger" than she is (which was convenient to explain her slightly off way of speaking and her constant naivete, I'll give it that). But at the same time, I wonder if her husband would have approached her at all had she been older than 18 (a point that was reinforced with the very ominous scene towards the end...), especially after talking about how his wife would "never age". In a way, this would mean that the character of Marie was also shaped around the men she was made to interact with.......
How I long for an Xth wave feminist remake... I can just picture the story of a fetishized doll turning into a "real woman" Pinocchio style, by reclaiming her self-agency, her body and her sexuality on her own terms, with maybe a little bit of yandere energy (are there movies that portray femdom fantasies with ambiguous consent in an empowering yet problematic way... All I can think of is Antichrist, even if I haven't watched it, and it's definitely going too far for what I'm imagining lol), maybe a little bit of sapphic tension... All of this while wearing the frilliest dresses. The ultimate fuck you to the "pedo bait" claims whenever they're used against a fashion style.
With custom Lolita prints as not-so-subtle symbolism for every act... And with Ayesha Erotica and Tila Tsoli's respective doll-themed songs to play over the credits (can you tell I liked the ending of Saltburn way too much). Someone make it happen!!
Eine Wanne Voll Glück (4 leaf clover and star fruit) Bath Salts (Kneipp)
Les Parapluies de Cherbourg (1964)
I knew it was going to be a musical, but there's something funny about how every single line is sung and yet there is no proper song in the entire movie. This is just how they talk in Cherbourg. The plot itself is very simple, you see every new event arrive from miles away, but at the same time I liked that my expectations were not met during the ending scene. Madeleine had about 5 death flags put on her in a few minutes so I was getting ready for a tragic "oh no, he still loves her, my life is a lie" drama, but no! Genevieve and Guy only get a bittersweet ending, and Guy goes back to his family as if nothing happened. Kind of refreshing, compared to what I'm used to!
But the real value of the movie, of course, lies in its visuals. The colors are so vivid, so present, so symbolic! Some shots left me speechless, like everything had been calculated to the millimeter. The opening scene with Guy riding his yellow bicycle to meet with yellow-wearing Genevieve, Genevieve in a blue dress rejecting everything her mother says to meet with Guy in his blue sweater in his blue bedroom, Genevieve's mother, owner of a pink store, dressed in orange against an orange and pink wallpaper... Some scenes almost feel tongue-in-cheek with how far they pushed it, like Guy meeting Madeleine in her orange dress at an orange cafe, and just as he crosses the border between blue and orange, an extra wearing a blue shirt walks in front of the camera in the other direction... Jacques Demy really had fun with this movie.
I was so high on that amazement that the evening of that day I decided to watch Demy's Lady Oscar, a movie adaptation of Rose of Versailles I had never heard about, and, well. It was definitely no Parapluies of Cherbourg. Maybe it's time to rewatch Coppola's Marie Antoinette... or maybe I should just bite the bullet and finally read/watch Rose of Versailles.
Les Parapluies de Cherbourg (1964)
Review
A movie frequently mentioned around me, the title was not enough to titillate my curiosity, until I actually saw stills from the movie and went "okay, I HAVE to watch this".I knew it was going to be a musical, but there's something funny about how every single line is sung and yet there is no proper song in the entire movie. This is just how they talk in Cherbourg. The plot itself is very simple, you see every new event arrive from miles away, but at the same time I liked that my expectations were not met during the ending scene. Madeleine had about 5 death flags put on her in a few minutes so I was getting ready for a tragic "oh no, he still loves her, my life is a lie" drama, but no! Genevieve and Guy only get a bittersweet ending, and Guy goes back to his family as if nothing happened. Kind of refreshing, compared to what I'm used to!
But the real value of the movie, of course, lies in its visuals. The colors are so vivid, so present, so symbolic! Some shots left me speechless, like everything had been calculated to the millimeter. The opening scene with Guy riding his yellow bicycle to meet with yellow-wearing Genevieve, Genevieve in a blue dress rejecting everything her mother says to meet with Guy in his blue sweater in his blue bedroom, Genevieve's mother, owner of a pink store, dressed in orange against an orange and pink wallpaper... Some scenes almost feel tongue-in-cheek with how far they pushed it, like Guy meeting Madeleine in her orange dress at an orange cafe, and just as he crosses the border between blue and orange, an extra wearing a blue shirt walks in front of the camera in the other direction... Jacques Demy really had fun with this movie.
I was so high on that amazement that the evening of that day I decided to watch Demy's Lady Oscar, a movie adaptation of Rose of Versailles I had never heard about, and, well. It was definitely no Parapluies of Cherbourg. Maybe it's time to rewatch Coppola's Marie Antoinette... or maybe I should just bite the bullet and finally read/watch Rose of Versailles.
Lichtkristall Glitter Bath Salts (Tetesept Kids)
She is Conann (2023)
And it was... honestly pretty good!!
My favorite acts were by far the first and last ones, I'm not really sure I got what the point of the Bronx act was, and the Nazi act felt a little too on the nose... but I guess it was necessary if the point was to talk about the different faces of barbarity? ...barbarism? [quick google search] both I guess!
Visually it's a treat, monochromatic with flashes of color, all instances of Conann are blush worthy (25 yo Conann hello???), the costumes, the smoke, the blood, the death, all of it sprinkled with glitter.... The dog mask was a bit offputting at first (especially paired with the acting in all acts except the Bronx one), but it kinda gave the movie that grotesque Berserk undertone, which very much worked for the first act.
While writing this I'm listening to the movie's sountrack, to which I didn't pay attention to most of the time, except when credits rolled, a track called "Un océan de regret" by Pierre Desprats. It's somewhere between Eartheater, Sea Power and Rïcïnn/Corpo-Mente, all artists with melancholic, moody pieces I listen to regularly. Coincidentally I also associate them with Schwarzwaelder (maybe this track needs its place among her mixtapes...) and Croquembouche (I need to figure out how I want her website to look already!!), so did this movie earn its tortecore seal of approval?
Maybe... It's definitely more of a lesbian French Dark Souls to me (which would fit Croquembouche), but the themes of eternity, fatality, mortality, and the Excalibur/Legend-like lensflares and glitter felt crystalline enough to call it tortecore, I'd say. Out of the 3 I selected it was definitely the most fitting movie for sure.
But the quest for tortecore never ends... Some cool director needs to read Houseki no Kuni and cook something good and quick... And I shall find the bath salts worthy of it...
[several days pass, I've been listening to the soundtrack over and over and it made me rework some tragic OC lore and I've gotten even more depressed about it]
OKAY, fine. It's tortecore. In hindsight the very premise of a legendary ancient warrior waiting forever for someone to replace her so she can finally die should have been an instant tortecore approval, I think I got too distracted by its aesthetics and theatrics to remember that this is what the whole movie is about.
She is Conann (2023)
Review
A French queer movie about a fem version of Conan the Barbarian revisiting her different ages... An intriguing pitch that could very well turn into a great artsy movie or a disastrous disappointment. A huge gamble for my last attempt at finding a tortecore movie (I ran out of those bath salts and they're sold out now, rip).And it was... honestly pretty good!!
My favorite acts were by far the first and last ones, I'm not really sure I got what the point of the Bronx act was, and the Nazi act felt a little too on the nose... but I guess it was necessary if the point was to talk about the different faces of barbarity? ...barbarism? [quick google search] both I guess!
Visually it's a treat, monochromatic with flashes of color, all instances of Conann are blush worthy (25 yo Conann hello???), the costumes, the smoke, the blood, the death, all of it sprinkled with glitter.... The dog mask was a bit offputting at first (especially paired with the acting in all acts except the Bronx one), but it kinda gave the movie that grotesque Berserk undertone, which very much worked for the first act.
While writing this I'm listening to the movie's sountrack, to which I didn't pay attention to most of the time, except when credits rolled, a track called "Un océan de regret" by Pierre Desprats. It's somewhere between Eartheater, Sea Power and Rïcïnn/Corpo-Mente, all artists with melancholic, moody pieces I listen to regularly. Coincidentally I also associate them with Schwarzwaelder (maybe this track needs its place among her mixtapes...) and Croquembouche (I need to figure out how I want her website to look already!!), so did this movie earn its tortecore seal of approval?
Maybe... It's definitely more of a lesbian French Dark Souls to me (which would fit Croquembouche), but the themes of eternity, fatality, mortality, and the Excalibur/Legend-like lensflares and glitter felt crystalline enough to call it tortecore, I'd say. Out of the 3 I selected it was definitely the most fitting movie for sure.
But the quest for tortecore never ends... Some cool director needs to read Houseki no Kuni and cook something good and quick... And I shall find the bath salts worthy of it...
[several days pass, I've been listening to the soundtrack over and over and it made me rework some tragic OC lore and I've gotten even more depressed about it]
OKAY, fine. It's tortecore. In hindsight the very premise of a legendary ancient warrior waiting forever for someone to replace her so she can finally die should have been an instant tortecore approval, I think I got too distracted by its aesthetics and theatrics to remember that this is what the whole movie is about.
Du bist wunderbar (Pomegranate and Cocoa) Foam Bath
The Color of Pomegranates (1969)
I came in with no knowledge of the context of this movie, the Armenian culture or history (besides a certain genocide), or the symbolism involved in this movie. And yet, even if I kinda struggled to follow at times, there's no denying that it was incredibly beautiful. The camera work shows real mastery over color schemes, composition, the rule of thirds, symmetry and asymmetry, and so on. Some of the abrupt cuts of closeups on symbolic objects or scenes felt almost like something out of a Svankmajer movie (or any of the Czech surrealists I guess). I've also been on a Madoka binge recently so the choices of very flat, very deliberate compositions reminded me a bit of how SHAFT stages some of their scenes (no head tilt though).
I also whispered "wow" at the shot where a whole church scene was cutout and slapped on a black background...
It's more or less Armenian Dark Souls. Including some of the bits that were so surreal that they felt a little silly, like the monks slipping into their tiny undeground holes with a candle and a trowel (?) or the protagonist sleeping with a literal relic as a pillow.
(... and was that guy almost French kissing a peacock???)
The Color of Pomegranates (1969)
Review
(I took a break from bath movies for a while because it was just too hot and I was lazy... I think I've also tried most bath products at my local drug store so I kinda lost inspiration besides a few combos I have saved up)I came in with no knowledge of the context of this movie, the Armenian culture or history (besides a certain genocide), or the symbolism involved in this movie. And yet, even if I kinda struggled to follow at times, there's no denying that it was incredibly beautiful. The camera work shows real mastery over color schemes, composition, the rule of thirds, symmetry and asymmetry, and so on. Some of the abrupt cuts of closeups on symbolic objects or scenes felt almost like something out of a Svankmajer movie (or any of the Czech surrealists I guess). I've also been on a Madoka binge recently so the choices of very flat, very deliberate compositions reminded me a bit of how SHAFT stages some of their scenes (no head tilt though).
I also whispered "wow" at the shot where a whole church scene was cutout and slapped on a black background...
It's more or less Armenian Dark Souls. Including some of the bits that were so surreal that they felt a little silly, like the monks slipping into their tiny undeground holes with a candle and a trowel (?) or the protagonist sleeping with a literal relic as a pillow.
(... and was that guy almost French kissing a peacock???)
Rücken & Schulter (Devil’s Claw) Bath Crystals (Kneipp)
Des Teufels Bad (2024)
It was good! Usually when I'm in my bath after about 45min-1h I start looking at the time left, but this one kept me sucked in all throughout despite its slow and somewhat predictable pace. There are some really painting-like shots in there, a little like in The VVitch, which touches on similar themes, but without any element of the supernatural. Well, hm, I do wonder what was up with those butterflies, maybe there was a little bit of Fantastique in there (one of my favorite genres... I should get into it again one of these days).
Agnes felt very autism-coded to me from the beginning, not really fitting in, unusual hobbies, more comfortable around animals than people, and kind of desperately holding onto the beliefs ingrained in her by her education: she MUST have a child and she MUST be a good Christian, because that's all she has to keep herself together in a loveless marriage in an overbearing family, isolated from everyone else.
The opening and ending scenes felt particularly strong, and I loved how they mirrored each other, not just the 2 women being executed for their crimes, but also Agnes the bride being carried by the joyous crowd while Wolf was trying to reach her vs Agnes the criminal walking in the middle of the crowd to her execution while Wolf was, again, trying to reach her (and then the joyous crowd celebrating her death when they had before celebrated her wedding... oh the delicious irony of it all).
Another detail I really liked is the printed placard for both women, where the writing is barely legible, but I assume the local population can't read anyway, and the images are telling enough for them to understand what transpired.
I'm kind of interested in reading the book this was inspired by now...
Des Teufels Bad (2024)
Review
I was feeling down because of a persisting tinnitus + back pain + doctors not really taking it seriously, so I wanted to go for a bath and remembered I had bought those crystals with the intention to watch The Devil's Bath (as I wrote here months ago) and what can be more fitting for a devil's claw depression bath than a movie about a depressed woman (or "in the devil's bath") who's constantly being failed by the people and systems around her :)It was good! Usually when I'm in my bath after about 45min-1h I start looking at the time left, but this one kept me sucked in all throughout despite its slow and somewhat predictable pace. There are some really painting-like shots in there, a little like in The VVitch, which touches on similar themes, but without any element of the supernatural. Well, hm, I do wonder what was up with those butterflies, maybe there was a little bit of Fantastique in there (one of my favorite genres... I should get into it again one of these days).
Agnes felt very autism-coded to me from the beginning, not really fitting in, unusual hobbies, more comfortable around animals than people, and kind of desperately holding onto the beliefs ingrained in her by her education: she MUST have a child and she MUST be a good Christian, because that's all she has to keep herself together in a loveless marriage in an overbearing family, isolated from everyone else.
The opening and ending scenes felt particularly strong, and I loved how they mirrored each other, not just the 2 women being executed for their crimes, but also Agnes the bride being carried by the joyous crowd while Wolf was trying to reach her vs Agnes the criminal walking in the middle of the crowd to her execution while Wolf was, again, trying to reach her (and then the joyous crowd celebrating her death when they had before celebrated her wedding... oh the delicious irony of it all).
Another detail I really liked is the printed placard for both women, where the writing is barely legible, but I assume the local population can't read anyway, and the images are telling enough for them to understand what transpired.
I'm kind of interested in reading the book this was inspired by now...
Cactus Crackle (Strawberry, Orange, Lemon, and apparently no cactus) Bath salts with crackling effect (Dresdner Essenz)
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994)
The movie went kinda above my expectations! I had never heard of it before so I expected a low budget kinda obscure "made by gays for the gays" kind of thing (meaning both that it would have a kinda clumsy DIY feel to it but also that it would be Camp tm), then I saw that The Matrix' Agent Smith was starring in it and I was "whaaat ok this is going to be a semi big budget production relying on queer stereotypes to make a feel good movie" and it was kinda both, but in a good way?
I really liked the road trip feel of it, the 3 very different personalities clashing against each other all the time, the costumes (gotta mention the flip flop dress and the lizards), some one liners, the acting, the regular close up shots on the hands, the opera scenes on the bus roof... Tick's motive and reveal was a bit "oh... okay." after his melodramatic moments for most of the film, but at the same time the kid's super chill, super accepting attitude in regards to everything happening around him really makes a huge part of the movie I think. Like the next generation is saying "don't worry about us, just keep being who you are and doing what you're doing, even if others don't like it we dig it" and in a way it helps not only Tick but also Felicia with healing from their respective shame and trauma. (also the kid randomly dropping the "oh yeah my mom's a lesbian, whatever" bomb lmao) But it was Bernadette I liked the most I think, she has more experience than the others and knows how to deal with the bad side of things and when not to engage, she's incredibly sharp tongued, she's classy and glamorous even when hiking in the middle of the desert, she's bored and tired of life and yet she will fight for her friends when she needs to... very good character.
I was also surprised at the inclusion of indigenous people, although as a European who knows next to nothing about the colonial dynamics in Australia, it's difficult to know how well those scenes were received? I mostly liked the guy inviting them to join his group, then the queens inviting him to join theirs. Even today drag is often seen as a "white people thing" so it's nice to have a little bit of diversity (for a minute or two).
The big weakness of the movie obviously is that despite all that it STILL went for an incredibly racist caricature that also felt very 90s with how surrealistic it was: I'm of course talking about the Filipino wife. I think the ping pong reveal could have been way funnier if it had been done by a character who seemed so normal that it almost felt off, like she was hiding something, instead of being a hysterical Asian former sex worker.
Likewise I think the incest (thank god it had a twist) and lynching scenes were not really needed...? I guess it was to show that not everything is merry and gay (haha.) all the time, but it's kinda tiring that it always goes back to those tropes... Maybe it's a question of generation.
While reading more about the movie I learned that Terence Stamp died like 2 weeks before I watched this? Damn... But then I also learned they had planned to have actual queens acting instead of straight actors and it's the studio that pressured them to make the movie more "bankable". Damn......
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994)
Review
Nice bath, although I expected a bit more on a sensory level with the crackling effect? I could hear it, but I couldn't really feel it, and I expected it to be like how sour candy feels on your tongue. Oh well.The movie went kinda above my expectations! I had never heard of it before so I expected a low budget kinda obscure "made by gays for the gays" kind of thing (meaning both that it would have a kinda clumsy DIY feel to it but also that it would be Camp tm), then I saw that The Matrix' Agent Smith was starring in it and I was "whaaat ok this is going to be a semi big budget production relying on queer stereotypes to make a feel good movie" and it was kinda both, but in a good way?
I really liked the road trip feel of it, the 3 very different personalities clashing against each other all the time, the costumes (gotta mention the flip flop dress and the lizards), some one liners, the acting, the regular close up shots on the hands, the opera scenes on the bus roof... Tick's motive and reveal was a bit "oh... okay." after his melodramatic moments for most of the film, but at the same time the kid's super chill, super accepting attitude in regards to everything happening around him really makes a huge part of the movie I think. Like the next generation is saying "don't worry about us, just keep being who you are and doing what you're doing, even if others don't like it we dig it" and in a way it helps not only Tick but also Felicia with healing from their respective shame and trauma. (also the kid randomly dropping the "oh yeah my mom's a lesbian, whatever" bomb lmao) But it was Bernadette I liked the most I think, she has more experience than the others and knows how to deal with the bad side of things and when not to engage, she's incredibly sharp tongued, she's classy and glamorous even when hiking in the middle of the desert, she's bored and tired of life and yet she will fight for her friends when she needs to... very good character.
I was also surprised at the inclusion of indigenous people, although as a European who knows next to nothing about the colonial dynamics in Australia, it's difficult to know how well those scenes were received? I mostly liked the guy inviting them to join his group, then the queens inviting him to join theirs. Even today drag is often seen as a "white people thing" so it's nice to have a little bit of diversity (for a minute or two).
The big weakness of the movie obviously is that despite all that it STILL went for an incredibly racist caricature that also felt very 90s with how surrealistic it was: I'm of course talking about the Filipino wife. I think the ping pong reveal could have been way funnier if it had been done by a character who seemed so normal that it almost felt off, like she was hiding something, instead of being a hysterical Asian former sex worker.
Likewise I think the incest (thank god it had a twist) and lynching scenes were not really needed...? I guess it was to show that not everything is merry and gay (haha.) all the time, but it's kinda tiring that it always goes back to those tropes... Maybe it's a question of generation.
While reading more about the movie I learned that Terence Stamp died like 2 weeks before I watched this? Damn... But then I also learned they had planned to have actual queens acting instead of straight actors and it's the studio that pressured them to make the movie more "bankable". Damn......
Lieblingsmensch (Hibiscus and Fig) Bath crystals (Kneipp)
The Ladies Man (1961)
Ironically enough, after watching Marie-Poupee while bathing in the same bath, I wanted to watch more movies that featured dolls or dollhouses in a non creepy way (very difficult), and this is how I came to learn of The Ladies Man, a movie with a gigantic dollhouse-like set inhabited by countless young women. And now that Infinity Nikki just released their housing feature, I wanted to find some inspiration to build my own giant dollhouse...
... And it is very much a movie you only watch for the set. I'm not particularly familiar with 60s comedy (or at least the American side of it), but I must say a lot of it fell very flat. I see the grotesque facial expressions and random dance numbers and I immediately think of Disney's Mary Poppins, but Dick Van Dyke's antics are just much more enjoyable and engaging, and the musical bits fit better in a Disney movie than they do here. I'm also remembering What a Way to Go! which is also from that period and was just so much funnier? And of course, call me French but Louis de Funes rules over 60s comedy any day.
So this movie mostly felt like it had badly aged. When the whole premise was introduced I was also naive and optimistic enough to think "oh, this is going to be a movie where a proto-incel is healed from his mysognistic trauma by the women he learns to coexist with, nice" and it is kind of that, but Fay's whole speech at the end about how "they are so cruel for making Herbert stay with them just because they need him to fix their stuff" felt like a whole 180 on my expectations, instead taking the point of view of some man who wants to live his life but feels stuck in a symbolic marriage where the woman just tricks him into staying by busying him with superficial needs. I don't know, man, different times.
Besides the ingenious set, the only other saving grace of the movie is the color work... We really need to bring whatever they were doing at the time back in our screens. That, and the random Miss Cartilage being a kinky spider dominatrix in her immaculate room for no reason at all.
The only time this movie got a laugh out of me was when Herbert said "Being alone, you know, can be very lonely. But at least with people around, then you can be lonely with noise."
Story of my life.
The Ladies Man (1961)
Review
Oof, I forgot about the strong smell of those crystals. But hey, name-wise it was the best match I could find for this movie.Ironically enough, after watching Marie-Poupee while bathing in the same bath, I wanted to watch more movies that featured dolls or dollhouses in a non creepy way (very difficult), and this is how I came to learn of The Ladies Man, a movie with a gigantic dollhouse-like set inhabited by countless young women. And now that Infinity Nikki just released their housing feature, I wanted to find some inspiration to build my own giant dollhouse...
... And it is very much a movie you only watch for the set. I'm not particularly familiar with 60s comedy (or at least the American side of it), but I must say a lot of it fell very flat. I see the grotesque facial expressions and random dance numbers and I immediately think of Disney's Mary Poppins, but Dick Van Dyke's antics are just much more enjoyable and engaging, and the musical bits fit better in a Disney movie than they do here. I'm also remembering What a Way to Go! which is also from that period and was just so much funnier? And of course, call me French but Louis de Funes rules over 60s comedy any day.
So this movie mostly felt like it had badly aged. When the whole premise was introduced I was also naive and optimistic enough to think "oh, this is going to be a movie where a proto-incel is healed from his mysognistic trauma by the women he learns to coexist with, nice" and it is kind of that, but Fay's whole speech at the end about how "they are so cruel for making Herbert stay with them just because they need him to fix their stuff" felt like a whole 180 on my expectations, instead taking the point of view of some man who wants to live his life but feels stuck in a symbolic marriage where the woman just tricks him into staying by busying him with superficial needs. I don't know, man, different times.
Besides the ingenious set, the only other saving grace of the movie is the color work... We really need to bring whatever they were doing at the time back in our screens. That, and the random Miss Cartilage being a kinky spider dominatrix in her immaculate room for no reason at all.
The only time this movie got a laugh out of me was when Herbert said "Being alone, you know, can be very lonely. But at least with people around, then you can be lonely with noise."
Story of my life.
Schatzsucher Bath Surprise (Tetesept Kids)
Pippi in Taka-Tuka-Land (1970)
And then yesterday I wanted to treat myself to something after having a big walk outside, found this bath bomb, looked for a pirate movie, remembered about Pippi, and somehow managed to find it this time!
Like I said, I was already very familiar with this movie, having watched it several times as a kid, one time in German class, and I even have a vague memory of watching Disney's Mulan at the movie theater with my mother, and then getting sneaked into the theater next to ours to watch this lol (old school pirating, yarr).
And what can I say, it's a good movie! I really love Pippi's house and inventions, I was eyeing her apron the whole time (wonder how hard it would be to remake it but adult-sized...), and I just wish we lived in a world where everything was possible if you just set your mind to it... ah to be a child growing in the 70s... sigh.
When Pippi came out disguised as her pirate grandfather and took her sword out I had another moment of "ah yes, I see how this has had a considerable influence on my life", but it's also interesting that the damsel in distress trope is completely reversed, with Pippi's father being pretty much useless without her to rescue him (it also made me remember that I always saw a little bit of my grandfather in him, which was a nice memory to recover). And then later Messer-Jocke has his knife stolen by Pippi, and he's all panicking because this knife is his entire identity, without the knife he's only Jocke, and I just went "haha, metaphorical emasculation" lmao
I really should dive deeper into the Pippi lore... how come she's so strong... who's her mother... besides this movie and the (subpar) animated series I don't think I know much about her. Hopefully a bit more sailing on the high seas should help me find the German dub of the TV series one day!
The bath bomb was just perfume and blue dye (boring) but I was very glad to find out that the little surprise inside was a teeny tiny turtle, which was exactly what I wanted!
Pippi in Taka-Tuka-Land (1970)
Review
Ever since I watched Pepperminta and wrote my review here, Pippi Longstocking has been at the back of my mind... I've been wanting to watch the original TV series, but since I've always known Inger Nilsson's Pippi with her German dub, I've been struggling to *cough* find either the series or the movies in German. Then recently I was doing a Petit Four inspired collage that included the words "Das stärkste Mädchen der Welt", taken from some Pippi book review, and I was "ah... I really want to rewatch this movie!"And then yesterday I wanted to treat myself to something after having a big walk outside, found this bath bomb, looked for a pirate movie, remembered about Pippi, and somehow managed to find it this time!
Like I said, I was already very familiar with this movie, having watched it several times as a kid, one time in German class, and I even have a vague memory of watching Disney's Mulan at the movie theater with my mother, and then getting sneaked into the theater next to ours to watch this lol (old school pirating, yarr).
And what can I say, it's a good movie! I really love Pippi's house and inventions, I was eyeing her apron the whole time (wonder how hard it would be to remake it but adult-sized...), and I just wish we lived in a world where everything was possible if you just set your mind to it... ah to be a child growing in the 70s... sigh.
When Pippi came out disguised as her pirate grandfather and took her sword out I had another moment of "ah yes, I see how this has had a considerable influence on my life", but it's also interesting that the damsel in distress trope is completely reversed, with Pippi's father being pretty much useless without her to rescue him (it also made me remember that I always saw a little bit of my grandfather in him, which was a nice memory to recover). And then later Messer-Jocke has his knife stolen by Pippi, and he's all panicking because this knife is his entire identity, without the knife he's only Jocke, and I just went "haha, metaphorical emasculation" lmao
I really should dive deeper into the Pippi lore... how come she's so strong... who's her mother... besides this movie and the (subpar) animated series I don't think I know much about her. Hopefully a bit more sailing on the high seas should help me find the German dub of the TV series one day!
The bath bomb was just perfume and blue dye (boring) but I was very glad to find out that the little surprise inside was a teeny tiny turtle, which was exactly what I wanted!
Goodbye Stress (Water mint and Rosemary) Bath salts (Kneipp)
Malá mořská víla (1976)
I spent a fair amount of time picking the movie (as usual), but I think it worked out beautifully. I got a new mint and lime scented candle (in teal wax), I also have another LIMITED EDITION mint shower gel I've been enjoying (why is it limited... Treaclemoon why must you torture me so you already robbed me of the cherry one), and the movie also had a lot of aqua blue hues, so everything paired absolutely perfectly with these teal colored water mint bath salts...
I already knew this movie was going to be a banger because it's Czech and from the 70s, but it really went all out with the symbolism, although I'm not quite sure I understood most of it. There's the Little Mermaid who wears a red "human flower" showing her curiosity and temptation towards humans, the father with a hoarding problem who has a room full of naked statues and busts of bearded men (and a copy of the Kama Sutra hanging out in the middle???) and another room full of swords (loved it) he likes to throw on the ground in frustration, but for some reason he also has feet pics in his hair, and was the Prince wearing a necklace with a bunch of pictures of naked women??? Not sure, couldn't see much on the Russian website I got the movie from, but it definitely looked a little suspicious.
I also really enjoyed how they managed to emulate the illusion of things sinking underwater, the candid cruelty of the underwater people, and of course the costumes and the colors!
I have to confess that all I knew about the Little Mermaid was once again what I knew from the Disney version (and that the original tale had a tragic ending involving sea foam), so I'm not sure if this is a perfect retelling of the original tale, but it was really interesting to learn more about the protagonist's mother, and that the Little Mermaid did not just throw herself in the sea out of despair, but was really pretty close to committing a crime of passion .
That, and I loved the dagger sinking into the sea with the lensflare making the water all glittery, of course.
Malá mořská víla (1976)
Review
Gonna go for a double bath this week because today I went out of my way to go all the way on the other side of the city to buy a LIMITED EDITION bath pillow (they just don't sell bath pillows anywhere anymore so this was a rare opportunity regardless), and I simply had to get one. Aaah... how nice it is to finally have something to support my neck lol, almost didn't want to leave my bath when the movie ended.I spent a fair amount of time picking the movie (as usual), but I think it worked out beautifully. I got a new mint and lime scented candle (in teal wax), I also have another LIMITED EDITION mint shower gel I've been enjoying (why is it limited... Treaclemoon why must you torture me so you already robbed me of the cherry one), and the movie also had a lot of aqua blue hues, so everything paired absolutely perfectly with these teal colored water mint bath salts...
I already knew this movie was going to be a banger because it's Czech and from the 70s, but it really went all out with the symbolism, although I'm not quite sure I understood most of it. There's the Little Mermaid who wears a red "human flower" showing her curiosity and temptation towards humans, the father with a hoarding problem who has a room full of naked statues and busts of bearded men (and a copy of the Kama Sutra hanging out in the middle???) and another room full of swords (loved it) he likes to throw on the ground in frustration, but for some reason he also has feet pics in his hair, and was the Prince wearing a necklace with a bunch of pictures of naked women??? Not sure, couldn't see much on the Russian website I got the movie from, but it definitely looked a little suspicious.
I also really enjoyed how they managed to emulate the illusion of things sinking underwater, the candid cruelty of the underwater people, and of course the costumes and the colors!
I have to confess that all I knew about the Little Mermaid was once again what I knew from the Disney version (and that the original tale had a tragic ending involving sea foam), so I'm not sure if this is a perfect retelling of the original tale, but it was really interesting to learn more about the protagonist's mother, and that the Little Mermaid did not just throw herself in the sea out of despair, but was really pretty close to committing a crime of passion .
That, and I loved the dagger sinking into the sea with the lensflare making the water all glittery, of course.
Dein Ruhemoment (Moon Milk, Turmeric and Tonka beans) Bath Foam (Dresdner Essenz)
The Holy Mountain (1973)
Based entirely on the packaging and since we are approaching fall, I wanted to watch something Croquembouche-core yet not too Dark Souls-y, but in the end went for a witch-pagan-like movie.
Annnd.... hmmm! I was very much into it for the first half, with the Jesus-like protagonist getting sucked in the consumerism of colonialism before deploring how his own faith? religion? identity? has been commodified to the extreme, then literally taking the bait to get transported into a psychedelic surrealist FMV point n click adventure and learn about the horrible horrible people he will hang out with who want to be above everything else... and then the second half was very much a very long "are we there yet" kind of underwhelming spiritual journey, and the ending felt like a complete cop-out to me lmao. 2h of setup for a practical joke that tells you to touch grass. I could only go "PFFFFFFFFF" and ended my bath in disappointment.
Visually, though, it's a treat. The Alchemist has style, the backgrounds and props and practical effects are super well thought out, some shots felt like an illustrated book or a comic in movement. But still, I hyped myself a little too much for this movie, and this ending just made it end on a bitter note.
(I would have much preferred an ending like in the 4th act of She is Conann, the whole premise is very similar... But I guess the 70s were just Like That)
The Holy Mountain (1973)
Review
If you're wondering about Moon Milk, it's not the one found in caves, it's some kind of Indian alternative medicine concoction (in other languages they simply put Ashwagandha instead). I thought the turmeric would make it yellow or orange, but it was blue! Huh! Not very foamy either, but it was a nice bath.Based entirely on the packaging and since we are approaching fall, I wanted to watch something Croquembouche-core yet not too Dark Souls-y, but in the end went for a witch-pagan-like movie.
Annnd.... hmmm! I was very much into it for the first half, with the Jesus-like protagonist getting sucked in the consumerism of colonialism before deploring how his own faith? religion? identity? has been commodified to the extreme, then literally taking the bait to get transported into a psychedelic surrealist FMV point n click adventure and learn about the horrible horrible people he will hang out with who want to be above everything else... and then the second half was very much a very long "are we there yet" kind of underwhelming spiritual journey, and the ending felt like a complete cop-out to me lmao. 2h of setup for a practical joke that tells you to touch grass. I could only go "PFFFFFFFFF" and ended my bath in disappointment.
Visually, though, it's a treat. The Alchemist has style, the backgrounds and props and practical effects are super well thought out, some shots felt like an illustrated book or a comic in movement. But still, I hyped myself a little too much for this movie, and this ending just made it end on a bitter note.
(I would have much preferred an ending like in the 4th act of She is Conann, the whole premise is very similar... But I guess the 70s were just Like That)
Waldbad (Pine and Fir) Bath salts (Kneipp)
The Quiet Girl (2022)
the last scene plays: "oh god if the criteria for "functional" are really this high I have way more problems than I thought I can't stop crying aaaaa"
I wanted a trip in the forest and I didn't really get one with this film, but on the other hand it was exactly my kind of cottagecore: in the middle of the mud and dirt and relative rural poverty, there is a little ray of sunshine and unconditional love... but everyone is still a little fucked up and struggling with their own things.
I really liked the symbolism of the yellow tones (the dress, the golden hairband, the kitchen, the orange juice, the biscuit!!!) and the one point perspective shots (the trees on both side of the road giving cathedral vibes, the shot in the yellow kitchen post twist reveal with Caith in her yellow dress framed by the ptich black door opening, and other shots that put Caith in the middle of screen, sitting with other people at a table, but due to the composition she's completely isolated from them too).
The parallels with Heidi were also interesting! Growing up I've always related a little bit to the relationship between Heidi and her grandfather who's mysteriously her sole caretaker, so I see what they were going for with this...
The Quiet Girl (2022)
Review
me reading the plot: "dysfunctional family... that's not a dysfunctional family, that's just a family with too many children and poor parents"the last scene plays: "oh god if the criteria for "functional" are really this high I have way more problems than I thought I can't stop crying aaaaa"
I wanted a trip in the forest and I didn't really get one with this film, but on the other hand it was exactly my kind of cottagecore: in the middle of the mud and dirt and relative rural poverty, there is a little ray of sunshine and unconditional love... but everyone is still a little fucked up and struggling with their own things.
I really liked the symbolism of the yellow tones (the dress, the golden hairband, the kitchen, the orange juice, the biscuit!!!) and the one point perspective shots (the trees on both side of the road giving cathedral vibes, the shot in the yellow kitchen post twist reveal with Caith in her yellow dress framed by the ptich black door opening, and other shots that put Caith in the middle of screen, sitting with other people at a table, but due to the composition she's completely isolated from them too).
The parallels with Heidi were also interesting! Growing up I've always related a little bit to the relationship between Heidi and her grandfather who's mysteriously her sole caretaker, so I see what they were going for with this...
Rücken & Schulter (Devil’s Claw and Juniper) Bath foam (Tetesept)
Les Diaboliques (1955)
me: cackling like a witch while I pour a blood-like substance made of devil's claw and juniper in my boiling cauldron bathtub
It's Halloween season! And what better way to celebrate than by watching a bunch of horror movies. And not content with watching already 4 per week with friends, I bought this bottle so I could have horror-themed baths too >:) (and save a lil bit of money on the side)
Well, it finally happened. After mentioning it several times here, I re-watched Les Diaboliques. It's still so good! I paid a lot more attention to the small details this time, the cinematography, the little hints thrown here and there. I really love how the bedroom in the boarding school has this confessional-looking room divider thingy, and I was SO distracted by the size of this HUGE baguette (that thing was bigger than a freaking arm!!!) that I started wondering if it was some kind of emasculating phallic metaphor or if the French really had it this good back then (I still remember when baguettes costed 0.50 EUR... this thing must have been so cheap.... [quick google search] are you FUCKING kiddi- time to storm the metaphorical Bastille again I guess)
I'd forgotten the movie ended with a card asking people to not spoil it, so I won't say any more than this :^) Just that it's interesting that some subtle subtext in the movie is apparently pretty explicit in the book it's been adapted from (gay gay homosexual gay) despite not following the exact same plot, so I might just read Celle qui n'etait plus one of these days...
Les Diaboliques (1955)
Review
no one:me: cackling like a witch while I pour a blood-like substance made of devil's claw and juniper in my boiling cauldron bathtub
It's Halloween season! And what better way to celebrate than by watching a bunch of horror movies. And not content with watching already 4 per week with friends, I bought this bottle so I could have horror-themed baths too >:) (and save a lil bit of money on the side)
Well, it finally happened. After mentioning it several times here, I re-watched Les Diaboliques. It's still so good! I paid a lot more attention to the small details this time, the cinematography, the little hints thrown here and there. I really love how the bedroom in the boarding school has this confessional-looking room divider thingy, and I was SO distracted by the size of this HUGE baguette (that thing was bigger than a freaking arm!!!) that I started wondering if it was some kind of emasculating phallic metaphor or if the French really had it this good back then (I still remember when baguettes costed 0.50 EUR... this thing must have been so cheap.... [quick google search] are you FUCKING kiddi- time to storm the metaphorical Bastille again I guess)
I'd forgotten the movie ended with a card asking people to not spoil it, so I won't say any more than this :^) Just that it's interesting that some subtle subtext in the movie is apparently pretty explicit in the book it's been adapted from (gay gay homosexual gay) despite not following the exact same plot, so I might just read Celle qui n'etait plus one of these days...
Rücken & Schulter (Devil’s Claw and Juniper) Bath foam (Tetesept)
Possession (1981)
When the first horror element happened I was "ah. finally, this was getting long, I'm ready for the final act" and the real horror was that I still had 1.5h of movie left.
Idk man I think I've watched too many "graphic" movies to really care about the shock aspect in this one, especially when the boundary has been pushed further and further since and I cba doing the work of putting myself in the head of a 1981 viewer to enjoy it... I'm also in that awkward position where watching an English-speaking movie in a city where I know firsthand that no one, no one defaults to English when talking to a stranger on the street, at the door, or on the phone just doesn't do it for me, and while I appreciated the On-The-Silver-Globe-like monologues, I think Isabelle Adjani would have been able to deliver them so, SO much better if she had been allowed to do it in French, because it really looked like she knew what the line meant, but not what each word did, and it felt very flat...
A bit of an underwhelming and long winded experience overall, despite some very nice shots.
Possession (1981)
Review
I spent ages looking for the original version of the movie because every video I found was the director's commentary (made me say "fuck you Daniel Bird" out loud, no idea who he is but he was introducing himself over and over in the first 10 seconds), and now I kinda wish I had watched the commentary instead.When the first horror element happened I was "ah. finally, this was getting long, I'm ready for the final act" and the real horror was that I still had 1.5h of movie left.
Idk man I think I've watched too many "graphic" movies to really care about the shock aspect in this one, especially when the boundary has been pushed further and further since and I cba doing the work of putting myself in the head of a 1981 viewer to enjoy it... I'm also in that awkward position where watching an English-speaking movie in a city where I know firsthand that no one, no one defaults to English when talking to a stranger on the street, at the door, or on the phone just doesn't do it for me, and while I appreciated the On-The-Silver-Globe-like monologues, I think Isabelle Adjani would have been able to deliver them so, SO much better if she had been allowed to do it in French, because it really looked like she knew what the line meant, but not what each word did, and it felt very flat...
A bit of an underwhelming and long winded experience overall, despite some very nice shots.
Rücken & Schulter (Devil’s Claw and Juniper) Bath foam (Tetesept)
Teeth (2007)
I abandoned that list for many years, but I still have that flyer stuck on my pinboard after all this time, and recently decided to muster the courage to try to complete the last few movies I have left on it (thankfully, Audition was in much better taste than I expected!!). On Letterboxd I saw a review of Teeth comparing it positively to Jennifer's Body, and you know what? At the time I first tried watching it I still hadn't gone through my "oh right, I forgot, I'm a woman and this is also about me" awakening, so maybe if I approached Teeth with the same mindset you need to truly see how good Jennifer's Body is, maybe the movie would be better than what I feared!
... It was not. Definitely #1 on the list of "movies that need to be redirected and rewritten by a crew of women". Sometimes it did dig into the Jennifer's Body feminist vibes, and then it would immediately veer back to early 2000s teen comedy with edgy humor for bros. The mother served no purpose whatsoever (pure plot device!), the half-brother only existed to explore this really weird repressed incest fetish that wasn't needed at all either, and I'm very on the fence about how the encounter with the 3rd guy panned out... I liked that it really showed that Dawn just couldn't catch a fucking break even when she was at her most vulnerable, but hgnnnn he kinda drugged her and she woke up the next morning being fine with it and only came to her senses when he stupidly told her about this bet... To err is human and you want to believe you're finally safe and saved by "your hero", sure, but come on, girl...
And yet, Dawn getting more and more comfortable with her body and her womanhood, uncovering this "forbidden knowledge" to better understand herself, facing her religious, ideological, and moral guilt... Those were all pretty good scenes... If only the movie had been more leaning towards that... the whole shaming, the whole Evil Temptress projected on teenage girls by school, parents, religion, and media, the apparent impossibility to find a safe space to explore your body and your own vulnerability because the men around you want something completely different out of you...
Ah well. 94/100 movies completed.
Teeth (2007)
Review
About 13 years ago (oof) I visited the "Can't Look Away: The Lure of Horror Film" exhibition at the EMP Museum in Seattle, and they had this very neat flyer entitled "One Horror Films To See Before You Die". I diligently went through the list the first year and found tons of new favorites (including Les Diaboliques!), then more and more irregularly as all I had left were the titles I was less interested in. At that time I had a very fixed idea of what I wanted out of a horror movie, and when I first attempted to watch Teeth, I was so turned off by the comedy aspect of it that I just gave up right in the middle of it. It wasn't scary, it wasn't funny, and the horror element was super underwhelming.I abandoned that list for many years, but I still have that flyer stuck on my pinboard after all this time, and recently decided to muster the courage to try to complete the last few movies I have left on it (thankfully, Audition was in much better taste than I expected!!). On Letterboxd I saw a review of Teeth comparing it positively to Jennifer's Body, and you know what? At the time I first tried watching it I still hadn't gone through my "oh right, I forgot, I'm a woman and this is also about me" awakening, so maybe if I approached Teeth with the same mindset you need to truly see how good Jennifer's Body is, maybe the movie would be better than what I feared!
... It was not. Definitely #1 on the list of "movies that need to be redirected and rewritten by a crew of women". Sometimes it did dig into the Jennifer's Body feminist vibes, and then it would immediately veer back to early 2000s teen comedy with edgy humor for bros. The mother served no purpose whatsoever (pure plot device!), the half-brother only existed to explore this really weird repressed incest fetish that wasn't needed at all either, and I'm very on the fence about how the encounter with the 3rd guy panned out... I liked that it really showed that Dawn just couldn't catch a fucking break even when she was at her most vulnerable, but hgnnnn he kinda drugged her and she woke up the next morning being fine with it and only came to her senses when he stupidly told her about this bet... To err is human and you want to believe you're finally safe and saved by "your hero", sure, but come on, girl...
And yet, Dawn getting more and more comfortable with her body and her womanhood, uncovering this "forbidden knowledge" to better understand herself, facing her religious, ideological, and moral guilt... Those were all pretty good scenes... If only the movie had been more leaning towards that... the whole shaming, the whole Evil Temptress projected on teenage girls by school, parents, religion, and media, the apparent impossibility to find a safe space to explore your body and your own vulnerability because the men around you want something completely different out of you...
Ah well. 94/100 movies completed.
Rücken & Schulter (Devil’s Claw and Juniper) Bath foam (Tetesept)
Mandy (2018)
The first hour felt like a classic tribute to 70s psychedelic film aesthetics (which iirc was the same deal with the same director's Beyond the Black Rainbow) that was maybe a little bit too pretentious and taking itself too seriously for its own good, but I was enjoying it nonetheless... And then there was just this brutal tonal shift as the movie centered on Nicolas Cage and I just ended up laughing and smiling for the next half of the movie. It's like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, and Evil Dead combined in one but with an evil pseudo-Christian cult twist to it, but it's also a fucking videogame with an inventory, item pick ups, and ridiculous boss fights. I think the closest would be Resident Evil 7? And maybe even Deadly Premonition, it certainly doesn't have its Twin Peaks vibes, but the sudden tonal shifts that make you wonder if the protagonist is hallucinating half of this or if this is a metaphor of if the weird surreal landscapes and mid-fight transformations are really happening were very much in line with this movie.
I did like the not so subtle "fuck Christian values" layer with Cage going from "no I'm a cool peaceful manly guy who doesn't drink because I've been saved by my wife" to "PURE ALCOHOL AAAAA WEIRD LSD SHIT AAAAA I NEED A SMOKE AAAAA I'M HIGH AS FUCK AND KILLING EVERYONE AAAAA" and indulging in ~ earthly pleasures ~ for the sake of it.
That being said, the intro was maybe a bit too long (it's like they were "oh shit, we forgot to give Mandy a personality before killing her off" instead of coming up with something better... I wanted her to be a plot twist final boss demon freed from her mortal coils remembering she doesn't have to be a victim of everything, I thought her evil laugh was hinting at that), and I also wasn't a big fan of the animated bits. I don't mind them, but if you're gonna emulate the 70s-80s anyway, you could have put at least a lil bit of effort and gone for traditional animation... Like, movies like Pink Floyd - The Wall have everything one could need inspiration wise... Also the random fatphobia and misogyny wasn't needed at all wtf...
Anyway, still much better than I expected. There was one scene that blew my mind where the Resident Evil shop guy archetype tells Nicolas Cage "you'll very likely die" or something and at that VERY SAME MOMENT a fly landed on Cage's shoulder I was ???????? was this by design or just an incredible coincidence omg
"The darker the whore, the brighter the flame" made me whisper "Dark Souls" for no reason at all. But can you imagine how cool and fun a souls-like game like this would be...
Mandy (2018)
Review
This one's been on my radar for a while, but I always have my guard up with recent movies because they tend to be overhyped or the poster is doing all the work and there's nothing behind to back it up. But honestly... it was pretty fun!The first hour felt like a classic tribute to 70s psychedelic film aesthetics (which iirc was the same deal with the same director's Beyond the Black Rainbow) that was maybe a little bit too pretentious and taking itself too seriously for its own good, but I was enjoying it nonetheless... And then there was just this brutal tonal shift as the movie centered on Nicolas Cage and I just ended up laughing and smiling for the next half of the movie. It's like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, and Evil Dead combined in one but with an evil pseudo-Christian cult twist to it, but it's also a fucking videogame with an inventory, item pick ups, and ridiculous boss fights. I think the closest would be Resident Evil 7? And maybe even Deadly Premonition, it certainly doesn't have its Twin Peaks vibes, but the sudden tonal shifts that make you wonder if the protagonist is hallucinating half of this or if this is a metaphor of if the weird surreal landscapes and mid-fight transformations are really happening were very much in line with this movie.
I did like the not so subtle "fuck Christian values" layer with Cage going from "no I'm a cool peaceful manly guy who doesn't drink because I've been saved by my wife" to "PURE ALCOHOL AAAAA WEIRD LSD SHIT AAAAA I NEED A SMOKE AAAAA I'M HIGH AS FUCK AND KILLING EVERYONE AAAAA" and indulging in ~ earthly pleasures ~ for the sake of it.
That being said, the intro was maybe a bit too long (it's like they were "oh shit, we forgot to give Mandy a personality before killing her off" instead of coming up with something better... I wanted her to be a plot twist final boss demon freed from her mortal coils remembering she doesn't have to be a victim of everything, I thought her evil laugh was hinting at that), and I also wasn't a big fan of the animated bits. I don't mind them, but if you're gonna emulate the 70s-80s anyway, you could have put at least a lil bit of effort and gone for traditional animation... Like, movies like Pink Floyd - The Wall have everything one could need inspiration wise... Also the random fatphobia and misogyny wasn't needed at all wtf...
Anyway, still much better than I expected. There was one scene that blew my mind where the Resident Evil shop guy archetype tells Nicolas Cage "you'll very likely die" or something and at that VERY SAME MOMENT a fly landed on Cage's shoulder I was ???????? was this by design or just an incredible coincidence omg
"The darker the whore, the brighter the flame" made me whisper "Dark Souls" for no reason at all. But can you imagine how cool and fun a souls-like game like this would be...
Monsterparty Bath Foam with crackling effect (Tetesept Kids)
The Witches (1990)
I think I had seen a few scenes of The Witches on TV but never in full, and it was pretty good! Growing up I was really into Roald Dahl novels and their weirdly creepy undertones, and this adaptation really took it up a notch lol
I did spend some time vaguely pondering on the gender issue of it all, like there's a layer of "under their perfect hair and makeup every woman could be an evil ugly witch" which is a bit hmmmm, and then in the conference room scene there were definitely some crossdressing actors which could be read as "under their perfect hair and makeup every woman could be a man, the horror" which again is a bit hmhmhm, BUT you could also read it as "witches are trans inclusive" which I think is a much more fun interpretation :^)
The mouse bits were really cool! I always enjoy some Jim Henson puppetry and I'm really bothered that this art form has been almost completely retired in cinema, imo it makes everything so much more convincing than CGI... I was genuinely shocked when the Grand High Witch stomped on that mouse lmao it was so brutal it felt real
The ending was a very weird existential rollercoaster, but reading the wikipedia page kinda clarified the conflict of interest... the original ending is ROUGH lol
(although I'm still not sure why Norway and the boy living in America were important to mention at all when all the action happens in the UK)
The Witches (1990)
Review
Got this bath foam early on especially for Halloween but yeah, like every other kid stuff I tried since now, not that great.I think I had seen a few scenes of The Witches on TV but never in full, and it was pretty good! Growing up I was really into Roald Dahl novels and their weirdly creepy undertones, and this adaptation really took it up a notch lol
I did spend some time vaguely pondering on the gender issue of it all, like there's a layer of "under their perfect hair and makeup every woman could be an evil ugly witch" which is a bit hmmmm, and then in the conference room scene there were definitely some crossdressing actors which could be read as "under their perfect hair and makeup every woman could be a man, the horror" which again is a bit hmhmhm, BUT you could also read it as "witches are trans inclusive" which I think is a much more fun interpretation :^)
The mouse bits were really cool! I always enjoy some Jim Henson puppetry and I'm really bothered that this art form has been almost completely retired in cinema, imo it makes everything so much more convincing than CGI... I was genuinely shocked when the Grand High Witch stomped on that mouse lmao it was so brutal it felt real
The ending was a very weird existential rollercoaster, but reading the wikipedia page kinda clarified the conflict of interest... the original ending is ROUGH lol
(although I'm still not sure why Norway and the boy living in America were important to mention at all when all the action happens in the UK)
Rücken & Schulter (Devil’s Claw and Juniper) Bath foam (Tetesept)
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Interesting movie! I expected it to be fun and subversive, and at times it was that and super clever, and at others it was more boring and like a classic slasher, which left me a little confused? Reading the wiki page as usual shone a light on what was going on: the original script was written as a parody of the genre by Rita Mae Brown (a famous lesbian feminist writer, which explains at the very least the butches), and the producers said "eeeh nah, make it into a regular slasher instead".
I kinda wonder what the original script was like... I was honestly expecting a proto-Scream movie where the girls fight back and the killer keeps getting shat on, or that the final girl would be the first to go and the bimbo archetypes would win the night with the power of friendship and gossip, but maybe that was too high of a criteria lol. The killer looked very Twin Peaks-y with his unmoving expression (and all denim fit) and vague motives, and I still don't know with which degree I'm meant to understand his few final lines... Like the phallic metaphors were very on the nose (still fun tho) so was this a satirical metaphor or a genuine one.... who knows!
The pizza scene was 10/10, and I laughed a little too hard at the short scene where Val is trying to find her perfect emotional support murder weapon.
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Review
Halloween may be over but my bottle isn't, and we're still in peak fall where I live so I want to capitalize on the vibe for as long as possible...Interesting movie! I expected it to be fun and subversive, and at times it was that and super clever, and at others it was more boring and like a classic slasher, which left me a little confused? Reading the wiki page as usual shone a light on what was going on: the original script was written as a parody of the genre by Rita Mae Brown (a famous lesbian feminist writer, which explains at the very least the butches), and the producers said "eeeh nah, make it into a regular slasher instead".
I kinda wonder what the original script was like... I was honestly expecting a proto-Scream movie where the girls fight back and the killer keeps getting shat on, or that the final girl would be the first to go and the bimbo archetypes would win the night with the power of friendship and gossip, but maybe that was too high of a criteria lol. The killer looked very Twin Peaks-y with his unmoving expression (and all denim fit) and vague motives, and I still don't know with which degree I'm meant to understand his few final lines... Like the phallic metaphors were very on the nose (still fun tho) so was this a satirical metaphor or a genuine one.... who knows!
The pizza scene was 10/10, and I laughed a little too hard at the short scene where Val is trying to find her perfect emotional support murder weapon.
Rücken & Schulter (Devil’s Claw and Juniper) Bath foam (Tetesept)
The Slumber Party Massacre (2021)
For the first half I was 100% YES HAHAHA YEEEEESSSS and laughed way more than at the original. I feel this may have been way more in line with the original script too, I would be curious to know what the writer thought/would think about it...
But gnnn unfortunately, as much as I wanted to love this movie, the second half was a little bit... a little bit too expected and bland and too on the nose with its themes and innuendos and what not. Yeah ok we get it, this is a post #metoo movie. Yeah ok we get it, toxic masculinity thinks feminism is misandry or whatever. Yeah ok we get it, Friday the 13th reference. I did chuckle at the snail hunting reference, but eeeh... I wouldn't have minded if it had ended after the shower scene, honestly.
Definitely wasn't gay enough either. The year is 2021 what are you waiting for!!!
The Slumber Party Massacre (2021)
Review
Well I read good things about the remake, so might as well end that bottle with it!For the first half I was 100% YES HAHAHA YEEEEESSSS and laughed way more than at the original. I feel this may have been way more in line with the original script too, I would be curious to know what the writer thought/would think about it...
But gnnn unfortunately, as much as I wanted to love this movie, the second half was a little bit... a little bit too expected and bland and too on the nose with its themes and innuendos and what not. Yeah ok we get it, this is a post #metoo movie. Yeah ok we get it, toxic masculinity thinks feminism is misandry or whatever. Yeah ok we get it, Friday the 13th reference. I did chuckle at the snail hunting reference, but eeeh... I wouldn't have minded if it had ended after the shower scene, honestly.
Definitely wasn't gay enough either. The year is 2021 what are you waiting for!!!
Byzantium (Black rose and Labdanum) Bath Cream (Tesori d'Oriente)
Black Narcissus (1947)
Anyway. I did like the introduction of each sister like you were picking out the crew of a resource management game (Colonialist Convent Simulator) or a harem dating sim (not too far off), but the first half of the movie kinda went through the motions without much going on and I was just waiting for Anything to happen while snickering everytime the phallic and vulva mirrors were on screen (they were allowed to do that in the 40s???). And then, finally, drama reached its peak and:
˖⁺. ༶ ❤︎ ⋆˙⊹ 𝒮𝒾𝓈𝓉ℯ𝓇 ℛ𝓊𝓉𝒽 ⊹˙⋆❤︎ ༶ .⁺˖
I spent the rest of the movie cheering out loud for the sickos nun. If I knew what song to use, I'd make her a fancam.
(Sister Clodagh in her fishing gear also made my heart flutter for some reason... and then I learned she's the lead in The Innocents! Gah I need to rewatch that movie...)
Black Narcissus (1947)
Review
I *SWEAR* I only meant to pair these 2 together because black rose -> black narcissus, but somehow I forgot to expect extreme orientalism (and blatant racism and black face) from this movie, so uh, the irony of this combo is not lost on me...Anyway. I did like the introduction of each sister like you were picking out the crew of a resource management game (Colonialist Convent Simulator) or a harem dating sim (not too far off), but the first half of the movie kinda went through the motions without much going on and I was just waiting for Anything to happen while snickering everytime the phallic and vulva mirrors were on screen (they were allowed to do that in the 40s???). And then, finally, drama reached its peak and:
I spent the rest of the movie cheering out loud for the sickos nun. If I knew what song to use, I'd make her a fancam.
(Sister Clodagh in her fishing gear also made my heart flutter for some reason... and then I learned she's the lead in The Innocents! Gah I need to rewatch that movie...)
Hot Chocolate Weather (Marshmallow and Cocoa) Bath Foam (Treaclemoon)
Chocolat (2000)
I was hyping myself so hard for this movie I went for a 1h morning hike in -5C weather right before my bath and had even prepared vegan aquafaba chocolate mousse to go with it... on top of the hot chocolate and chocolate oatmeal (my usual breakfast) I had already planned.
Needless to say, I was armed and ready for the ultimate experience in chocolate decadence (did I mention I also have a cherry and chocolate shower gel... and lip balm...).
And I think I would call this an extremely indulgent white woman movie lol. While I was already mentally prepared for having to put up with Johnny Depp screen time, I was completely blindsided by the whole "exotic mystical chocolate recipes from the Mayans and Aztecs" and I laughed out loud when the very white very French protagonist started decorating her chocolaterie with Mesoamerican trinkets, then laughed even harder when her landlady called it "early Mexican brothel" lmao
That being said, almost everything else in the movie holds up surprisingly well! I think the dynamics of an ideological conflict between the authoritarian mayor of a catholic conservative rural village and an immigrant single mother and witch with (somewhat) radical views who just wants to heal people with inoffensive indulgence was super fun!
I liked the subplot with the woman getting out of her abusive marriage and finding healing, confidence, and some sense of independence through confectionery making, the subplot with the old radical diabetic lady who likes Rimbaud being reunited with her grandson who likes to draw morbid things was tailored especially for me (and the foreshadowing with the portrait... delicious), and overall it was a very cozy and enjoyable movie... It's hard not to compare it to Babette's Feast, which I coincidentally watched a few weeks ago, and I wouldn't be surprised if it heavily inspired the author of the original novel (although Chocolat has more of a "blockbuster made to be watched over and over by its target audience of white women who dream of bohemian romance and solo entrepreneurship" kind of vibe, whereas Babette's is more of a single watch experience that lingers in the back of your mind for a long time).
I'm biased, but I don't think the Johnny Depp subplot was necessary. As usual I'd love a contemporary remake that focuses more on the dichotomy between the two "factions", and where the protagonist retains her witchy properties without needing to rely on exoticism (or better yet, why can't she be a woman of color, who shows warmth and nurturing through recipes foreign to the French rural palate... but I guess chocolate has already evolved into a very white middle class kind of business, so I don't know if what I'd like it to convey would be relayed properly if it still relied on that confectionery, and then you'd lose the Lent/Easter background that's kind of important for the plot... hmm!)
... Also isn't chocolate really bad for dogs???
Anyway. As I'm writing this I'm still overdosing on all that chocolate. Great experience 10/10.
Chocolat (2000)
Review
I found this movie on Letterboxd months ago and bought this bath foam while waiting to be done with my Halloween horror binge to smoothly transition from fall to winter... And the sudden temperature drop was right on time.I was hyping myself so hard for this movie I went for a 1h morning hike in -5C weather right before my bath and had even prepared vegan aquafaba chocolate mousse to go with it... on top of the hot chocolate and chocolate oatmeal (my usual breakfast) I had already planned.
Needless to say, I was armed and ready for the ultimate experience in chocolate decadence (did I mention I also have a cherry and chocolate shower gel... and lip balm...).
And I think I would call this an extremely indulgent white woman movie lol. While I was already mentally prepared for having to put up with Johnny Depp screen time, I was completely blindsided by the whole "exotic mystical chocolate recipes from the Mayans and Aztecs" and I laughed out loud when the very white very French protagonist started decorating her chocolaterie with Mesoamerican trinkets, then laughed even harder when her landlady called it "early Mexican brothel" lmao
That being said, almost everything else in the movie holds up surprisingly well! I think the dynamics of an ideological conflict between the authoritarian mayor of a catholic conservative rural village and an immigrant single mother and witch with (somewhat) radical views who just wants to heal people with inoffensive indulgence was super fun!
I liked the subplot with the woman getting out of her abusive marriage and finding healing, confidence, and some sense of independence through confectionery making, the subplot with the old radical diabetic lady who likes Rimbaud being reunited with her grandson who likes to draw morbid things was tailored especially for me (and the foreshadowing with the portrait... delicious), and overall it was a very cozy and enjoyable movie... It's hard not to compare it to Babette's Feast, which I coincidentally watched a few weeks ago, and I wouldn't be surprised if it heavily inspired the author of the original novel (although Chocolat has more of a "blockbuster made to be watched over and over by its target audience of white women who dream of bohemian romance and solo entrepreneurship" kind of vibe, whereas Babette's is more of a single watch experience that lingers in the back of your mind for a long time).
I'm biased, but I don't think the Johnny Depp subplot was necessary. As usual I'd love a contemporary remake that focuses more on the dichotomy between the two "factions", and where the protagonist retains her witchy properties without needing to rely on exoticism (or better yet, why can't she be a woman of color, who shows warmth and nurturing through recipes foreign to the French rural palate... but I guess chocolate has already evolved into a very white middle class kind of business, so I don't know if what I'd like it to convey would be relayed properly if it still relied on that confectionery, and then you'd lose the Lent/Easter background that's kind of important for the plot... hmm!)
... Also isn't chocolate really bad for dogs???
Anyway. As I'm writing this I'm still overdosing on all that chocolate. Great experience 10/10.
Why a bath journal?
When I first learned about neocities and started digging around the old web, I found a very old page from the 90s giving pro tips™ on how to fully indulge in the oh-so-sacred art of bathing, complete with bath salts and soap recommendations.
I don't think I'll be able to find the page again, but it stuck with me, and when I first started working on this website I knew I had to include something similar.
While I usually shower to stay clean (it's just faster and cheaper), I will sometimes treat myself to a long, warm bath with a meal, snacks, and/or a movie!
All you need to start your own bath time is: a bathtub.
(actually, when I first started this small ritual, I was subletting a flat from someone who had snatched their neighbour's formerly built-in bathub and just shoved it under their (baseless) shower, so... anything is possible as long as you have a (more or less stable) tub and a way to drain the water!)
After that, what you do while soaking is entirely up to you and your budget!
I guess an all-time classic and glamorous way of bathing is to read a book at the same time, but I just never figured out how to do that without risking the book's safety...
I prefer watching movies and I'll sometimes pair them with bathing products (although shower gel will foam just as well), but you could also include a special beauty routine or anything you want and can afford!
Don't forget to waterproof your smartphone/tablet/laptop by using a zip-bag or clear sheet protectors!
Be careful to not have anything plugged into a socket anywhere near your bathtub!
